Episodes 1-21 Summary

(Author's note: They're kind of all stuck together...yeah...nuff said.)

Moxie: Natalie, there are maggots on your eggs?
Natalie: That's because I've been watching Canadian TV for three whole days.
Moxie: *gasp* THE HORROR!
Phone: Ring!
Natalie: I'LL GET IT! *picks up phone* Hello?
Elmo: It's your ex boyfriend.
Natalie: Hey.
Elmo: I killed your third cousin twice removed and ate his liver.
Natalie: ....
Elmo: MWAHAHAHA! By the way, his name is Charlie. *hangs up*
Moxie: Look, your family tree is in the fridge!
Natalie: *looks at it* Wow, I really do have a third cousin twice removed named Charlie!
Moxie: Actually, his name his Martin.
Natalie: I hope he's okay. *calls him*
Answering machine: This is Elmo at Charlie's house, whom I killed and ate his liver. Beep!
Natalie: Wow. Let's go find his dead body.
Moxie: Let's walk like in "Stand By Me"!
Natalie: NO!
Moxie: Let's take the train! *launches into "Something on my mind" by Hawk Nelson* TAKE THE TRAIN, GO SEPERATE WAYS, LEAVE IT LONG FORGOTTEN, I'LL HANG MY HAT AND I WON'T BE BACK ON MY WAY OUT!
Natalie: You stink.
Moxie: Sorry.
Natalie: LISTEN!
Tyler: FEELING LAME, AM I TO BLAME, OR AM I JUST TOO JADED, I WON'T BE BACK, WHAT'CHA THINK OF THAT?
Natalie: *bursts out of apartment*
Tyler: AAAAAGH. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
Moxie: Her cousin Martin "Charlie" Elessar was killed.
Tyler: *faints*
Natalie: Help me drag him, Moxie!
Moxie: I have a date! *goes to apartment and ignores threatening messages*
*AT TYLER'S APARTMENT*
Natalie: WAKE UP! I need to know why you fainted.
Tyler: I didn't faint. Why is someone whistling a Beatles song?
Natalie: AAAAAAAAH, GET INSIDE QUICK!
Tyler: *does* Why did YOU freak out?
Natalie: Um, no reason.
Tyler: What's going on?
Natalie: Wanna come with me to search for the dead body of my cousin?
*AT DATE*
Garbanzo: I'm marrying your evil twin sister.
Moxie: I HATE YOU!
Garbanzo: I want a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
Moxie: I HATE YOU!
Garbanzo: I'll give you a ride...or you'll break a heel.
Moxie: *goes with him*
Elmo: Hello, Moxie. I have a knife.
Tyler: *to answers Natalie's question* SERIOUSLY? THIS IS WEIRD?
Natalie: STARING CONTEST! *stares* I WIN!
Tyler: I think the man whistling was your exboyfriend.
Natalie: Yeah, but we're safe now. *gasp* MOXIE ISN'T! COME, WE MUST SAVE HER!
*MOXIE'S APARTMENT*
Moxie: *gone*
Natalie: NOOOOOOO!
Tyler's cellphone: Ring!
Tyler: Hello?
Moxie: HELP ME!
Tyler: Um, okay.
Moxie: *in a truck* I'm in a truck. *escapes to a park* Hey, look, two people are burying a dead body.
People: *leave with job unfinished*
Moxie: *looks at body* AAAAAAAAAH!
Tyler: *driving too fast*
Natalie: Go to that park!
Tyler: *does*
Joel from Good Charlotte: Your car is mine!
Tyler: ....
Natalie: I HEAR MOXIE! *runs*
Moxie: *crying* I SAW MARTIN "CHARLIE" ELESSAR!
Tyler: *looks and faints again*
Natalie: WAKE UP!
Tyler: *does* That was my father, by the way, so that's why I'm crying. But his name isn't "Charlie".
Natalie: ....
Elmo: I'm going to throw a grenade at you. 1...2...5!
Trio: AAAAAAH! *runs*
Explosion: KABOOOOOOOOOM!
*AT CLUB*
Ashes: I'm going to card you.
Pierre Bouvier: Please don't.
Ashes: Okay, I won't if you stalk my sister's every move.
Pierre Bouvier: Done.
*AT PARK*
Trio: Under car: WE'RE SAFE!
Moxie: Ew, my clothes are all dirty.
Tyler: MY CAR'S BACK!
Joel: Told you I didn't steal it.
Natalie: Let's drive away!
Car: *drives away*
Tyler: My clothes stink. Let's go shopping.
Natalie: We have no money.
Moxie: Tyler, I stole your dad's wallet.
Tyler: Cool, let's go shopping.
*AT MALL*
Natalie: UNCLE WILBO!
Wilbo: Buy me shoes for my birthday.
Natalie: Love you too.
Cloak man: *chases her* I WANT MY RING!
Agent A: *takes him down* He wants your ring.
Natalie: THERE'S A RING IN MY PURSE!
Wilbo: There she is!
Tyler: *tackles her*
Moxie: *tackles her first* OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!
Tyler: *pries himself off of her* Well, that was awkward...
Natalie: ...but nice...
Agent A: You shall be called the Fellowship of the Ring.
Wilbo: Let's go to my birthday party!
*AT CLUB*
Tyler: I hate Fallout Boy.
Pete Wentz: Jerk. *hits on Moxie*
Moxie: EW! JERK!
Natalie: Hey, I used to date you.
Pete: Pierre, your elaborate plan isn't working.
Pierre: Don't worry, I have an idea. *kidnap Tyler*
Tyler: AAAAAAAAAH!
Wilbo: Hey, Natalie, like my party?
Natalie: *drops ring*
Wilbo: *hands it to her*
Natalie: Uh...thanks.
Wilbo: *sees One Credit Card* MINE!
Agent A: *takes him away*
Cloak man: *takes ring*
Agent A: That is the One credit Card. It is evil.
natalie: Cool.
Moxie: I WANT IT!
*AT WAREHOUSE*
Tyler: I got captured by Simple Plan?
Pierre: Hehehe, it's all part of my elaborate plan.
Tyler: What's that?
Pierre: YOU MUST SING FOR US!
Fans: NOOOO!
Tyler: Crap.
*AT CLUB*
Ashes: I'm going to intimidate you, Moxie.
Moxie: *doesn't want card anymore* I HATE YOU!
Ashes: *walks away*
Natalie: Where's Tyler?
Tyler: *calls* I'm going emo cuz you didn't try to save me.
Natalie: I LOVE YOU!
Tyler: I wish. *hangs up*
Natalie: We must rescue him.
Moxie: Sure. Did you guys break up?
Natalie: Um...*trying to distract her* OH NO IT'S ELMO AND THE TMNTS!
Moxie: Yeah right.
Elmo: No, she's right.
TMNTS: YAAAAAAAAAH!
Moxie: Let's go ride in a limo!
Natalie: Where?
Moxie: OVER THERE!
Benny Bang: You come with me!
Moxie: Cool!
Elmo: I WILL FIND YOU!
*IN LIMO*
Natalie: TYLER WON'T RETURN MY CALLS! I'M GOING EMO! *emos*
Moxie: He's fine.
Benny Bang: I'm kidnapping you.
Girls: AAAAAAAH!
Moxie: Quick, jump out the sun roof! *lands on Riley Smith*
Ashley: *jealous* I'M GONNA SLAP YOU!
Moxie: ME TOO!
*both slap Riley*
Riley: Love hurts.
Natalie: *lands in garbage truck* Oh no!!!!!!!
Great Dane: *saves her*
Natalie: I totally love you!
Great Dane: I bite you. Grawr.
Moxie: *attacks her* NAAAAAAAAAH I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! You smell like poop.
Natalie: ...LET'S GO SHOPPING!
Moxie: COOL! Let's use the One Credit Card, too! *buy rip off "New York Minute" outfits*
Benny Bang: I want that card!
Moxie: NO! *she and Natalie run across street to stage where Simple Plan is performing*
Natalie: Simple Plan video shoot! Where's Pierre? OMG THAT'S TYLER!
Pierre: *grabs her* Do a crowd dive or I'll kill you.
Natalie: Why?
Pierre: MWAHAHA!
Natalie: Moxie, let's crowd dive.
Moxie: YAAAAAAAAH!
*crowd dive*
Tyler: *stops singing "Vacation"* Moxie? And...NATALIE?
Natalie: I called like a million times!
Tyler: I was...busy! Come on, let's run away!
Trio: *run away*
Pierre: Go get 'em, Elmo.
Elmo: Cool.
*NEAR BARNARD COLLEGE*
Natalie: *stops running after a long time* Look, it's my old college!
Tyler: Eh?
Moxie: Let's go inside!
*go inside*
Mrs. Reedarbus: Wanna try out for my musical?
Mary-Kate: I DO! *sings What I've Been Looking For from High School Musical and plays drums*
Mrs. Reedarbus: Um, okay.
Tyler: Natalie, let's do this.
Natalie: *premonition* IF YOU TRY OUT FOR THIS MUSICAL, YOU WILL NOT ONLY GET THE PART, BUT WILL SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD FROM AN EVIL CANADIAN MAN AND HALEY JOEL OSMENT. *end of premonition* I'll sing with you.
Mrs. Reedarbus: Didn't you graduate at like age 14?
Tyler: What? NOOOOOOOO!
Natalie: Eh?
Tyler: I can't date you! You're only 18!
Natalie: Shut up and let's do this.
Music: *that one song from "Jonah: A Veggietales Movie" plays*
*IN HALLWAY*
Moxie: *peeks in classroom* Hello?
Professor: GO AWAY!
Moxie: Sure, I just heard a scary voice whisper my name anyways.
Cellphone guy: Can you hear me now? Gooood.
Moxie: False alarm.
Elmo: No it isn't. *stabs her*
Moxie: MY LIVER!
*ELSEWHERE*
Natalie: That was bad. WHERE'S MOXIE!?
Tyler: Let's search...while holding hands.
Natalie: EW, perv. *go into classroom*
Professor: Yeah, I saw her, she was annoying, so I told her to leave.
Victor (the very sexy and only male Bulgarian student at Barnard College): She vas vay hot.
Cellphone guy: My boss is Elmo.
Natalie: I smell...FRENCH BREAD. *in trance*
Tyler: COME BACK! *follows her* *gasps* MOXIE!
Moxie: *on floor* I'm all tied up.
Elmo: I HATE YOU!
Tyler: Well, I never wanted to see you again either!
Both at same time: JERK! WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
Elmo: Not nice! *tackles Tyler down empty elevator shaft*
Natalie: *awakens from trance* TYLER! *grabs his hand*
Elmo: I'm going to riddle you with painful memories from your past and make you let go.
Tyler: Not working.
Natalie: I'll never let you go, Tyler!
Tyler: Sorry, it's not going to work out, seeing as I'm facing my impending doom.
Elmo: I'm going to stab you in the leg and make you let go. *stabs*
Tyler: MEOWCH! *lets go* Oops. AAAAAAH!
Natalie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Moxie: Let's go outside and sit on a bench.
*OUTSIDE*
Moxie: Crumbs, I wish he weren't dead.
Victor: You said my last name! *looks at Natalie* You look sad. I'll give you some ice cream. *takes them to his car*
*AT CAR*
Moxie: Isn't Barnard College an all girl's school.
Victor: My father pulled a few strings...
Moxie: EW!
Victor: Um, for my good education!
Moxie: Oh.
Mrs. Reedarbus: Natalie, you got the part, but since your singing partner just died falling down an empty elevator shaft-
Natalie: *tear*
Mrs. Reedarbus: I guess you'll have to sing with Victor.
Victor: *chokes*
Mrs. Reedarbus: I'll have to break the news to Mary-Kate. *walks away*
Mary-Kate: *murderous rage* I'LL KILL YA!
Victor: In the car!
*car chase*
Victor: She scares me, but it appears she's gone.
Moxie: Why are we at a Chinese restraunt?
Victor: Lunch...you and me...duh.
Moxie: Oh.
Natalie: I'LL JUST STAY HERE AND BE EMO! *tear*
*IN RESTRAUNT*
Moxie: I like noodles.
Victor: You're different from other girls.
Moxie: OH NO! The man I'm madly in love with is plastered all over these menus!
Victor: ....but that's not my picture...oh. *emos*
Moxie: He likes someone else and she's...perfect.
Victor: To let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart.
Moxie: Wow...that is sooo deep.
Victor: And your lucky numbers are...
Natalie: *comes in* FORTUNE COOKIES! *she and Moxie both take one* *switch bodies*
Victor: Uh...
Moxie: EW, I'M NO LONGER BLONDE! WAAH!
natalie: SHUT UP!
*AT GARBANZO'S MANSION*
Garbanzo: I love you, Ashes. I want to you meet my son, Dole.
Dole: I just got back from summer camp and I want you to meet my long lost twin brother Krillin.
Garbanzo: *gasp* KRILLIN!
Krillin: We need to kill your fiancee cuz you still love our mom. *pull out M-16's*
*IN CHINESE PARKING LOT*
Victor: Get in the car.
Moxie: I'M NOT BLONDE! WAAAAAAAAH!
Natalie: SHUT UP!
Mary-Kate: I'm baaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaack!
Victor: AAAAAAH! *slams into curb and throws her off of car*
Girls: *switch back bodies*
Moxie: Wow...that was very noble of you.
Victor: Let's leave before it's too late.
Pierre: Too late.
Trio: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Pierre: SHUT UP! Where are you going?
Natalie: To the singing competition across the street...DUH!
Pierre: I'll escort you there!
*AT SINGING COMPETITION*
Natalie: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SING?
Pierre: Look at my fringed boots. Victor, you're dumb AND you're a girl.
Victor: *sniffle*
Moxie: Too bad about the fringed boots.
Pierre: *sneers and walks away*
Natalie: *runs on stage, playing Nickelback's "Photograph" on her magical guitar*
Moxie: *sings*
Victor: *interpretive dances*
Ryan Seacrest: YOU GUYS WIN!
Trio: Too late, we've already escaped to the Catskill Mountains.
Ryan: ....
Pierre: AFTER THEM!
*AT CATSKILL MOUNTAINS*
Victor: Moxie, you can't sing.
Moxie: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Natalie: LOOK! A HELICOPTER! LET'S MAKE A SMOKE SIGNAL!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm back, baby.
Moxie: COOOL!
Victor: Vho is this?
Arnold: I'm the governator.
*AT ASHES EVIL CASTLE*
Britney Spears: *has baby*
Midwife: OH NO! IT'S A BOY! I'll save the baby and meet my doom of dying at the hands of wolf dogs. *runs*
Britney: Eh?
Ashes: Where's the baby?
Britney: Um...he'll finish you?
Ashes: Kill her.
*IN FOREST*
Krillin: Dad...
Dole: Ashes is a vampire.
Garbanzo: ....WHAT? AAAAAAAAAAH!
Krillin: And your ex-girlfriend was a....*doesn't tell the readers*
Nice readers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Most readers: Moving right along...
Me: Losers...
*BY RIVER*
Victor: A baby vith a leaf on it's mouth! *picks it up*
Moxie: Aww....
Natalie: *drowning*
Sean Preston: My name is Sean Preston and I love you both.
Natalie: *not drowning* WOLF DOGS! RUN!
Trio: *runs*
*AT ASHES EVIL CASTLE*
Elves: We got to war...HURRAH.
Ashes: But I have the ONE RING.
Garbanzo: NOOOOOOOOO! I HAD IT, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THE ONE RING!
Readers: Meaning your Cloak Man?
Garbanzo: Maybe...
Ashes: *uses ring*
Elves: *fly away* AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Garbanzo: NYAARGH! *attacks*
Ashes: *owns*
Krillin and Dole: NOOOOOOOOOOO LET'S KILL HER!
Sword: *magically flies and cuts off Ring finger*
Ashes: NOOOOOOOOO! *runs away*
Garbanzo: I'M ALIVE!
No one: *cares*
*IN FOREST*
Moxie: Well, it looks like the wolf dogs have fallen in a hole.
Victor: I'll go change the baby.
Moxie: Okay.
Sean Preston: *captured by hawk*
Hawk rider from Willow/Franjean: I STOLE THE BABY! I STOLE THE BABY!
Natalie: Midget arrows are raining down on us! run!
Girls: *run and fall in hole*

(Yeah. That's it. Now tomorrow, real episode. Fun...This took me like... an hour and a half to write. Longer than an episode. But more fun.)

Part 21: I will give you my groceries if you make this baby shut up.

(Author's note: I kind of liked yesterday's. G. I. Joe's are nice. I am destined to wear a dark blue prom dress. Sweeeeeet... What? Or, to quote Victor, VHAT? Oh, sorry. But yeah. I'm kind of stalling. I forgot what I was going to do today. Something about Ashes and wolf dogs. Wait for me...while I STALL! OMG LOL! This is the real moral of the Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid: Blatently disobeying all your figures of authority gets you hot guys. )

Stolen Movie Plot: "Willow", um...uh...?"The Fellowship" when Elrond's telling that interesting little story

Note: No one was hurt in the making of this soap.

Thousands of elf troops approached Ashes feminist castle, bows at the ready, led by Dole, Krillin, and Garbanzo, who was now wearing limited edition LOTR elf garb, bought off Ebay. The three of them held more advanced weaponry. The National Guard and the Air Force flew overhead. Ashes stood in front of her evil castle, smiling. Dole stopped marching and glared at her.
"Why are you smiling?" Ashes' smile grew wider.
"Cuz I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW!" Krillin pointed his gun at her.
"Later, babe." The audience laughed momentarily at his use of the word 'babe'. Then he stopped. "And...what is it that you know that we don't know?" Ashes let out a heinous cackle.
"THIS!!!!!!" She held out her hand, showing them all the engagement ring. The elves said, "Ooooh, pretty." Then she plucked off the stone and set it on fire, revealing firey letters. The elves gasped. So did Garbanzo.
"So...that ring I stole from Natalie was really THE ONE RING?" He shook his fist. "THE RING SHOULD'VE BEEN MINE!" Everyone stared at the British Italian.
"YOU WERE BLACK CLOAK MAN?" Screamed the dedicated and enthusiastic readers (*cough cough*). Garbanzo's eyes glinted with fire? MY DESCRIPTIONS SUCK.
"Yes, but I gave it to you, Ashes, because I thought you loved me!" Ashes started crying.
"I DO, GARBANZO!" Garbanzo started.
"Really?"
"No. Being evil's just too much fun! Speaking of which..." She flung her arm to the west. Half of the elves flew away like they'd been picked up by a giant hand and thrown (don't worry, they landed on giant mats offscreen). Ashes waved her arm the other way. The other elves flew away...yeah. Garbanzo shook his head.
"This has got to end." He charged her...and got owned. Dole and Krillin watched in horror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ashes smiled as Garbanzo's body crumpled to the ground. The boys ran over to their father. Garbanzo winked.
"Don't worry, kids. I'm only PRETENDING to die." Krillin slapped his father upside the head (how rude).
"This was supposed to be a climactic scene!" Dole took his father's limited edition Anduril.
"I must kill Ashes now." Krillin grabbed the sword.
"No, I wanna do it!" "You always get to do everything!" "You're older!" The boys started fighting over the sword. Suddenly, it flew out of their grasp to cut off Ashes' finger. Ashes screamed.
"NOOOO NOT MY RING AAAAAAAAH!" She ran away crying. The ring was still stuck on her bloody finger. Dole and Krillin shook their heads.
"I refuse to touch it." Garbanzo rose, clutching his side.
"Well...now I know. The wedding is off. I wouldn't marry her if she gave me all of Europe." Ashes came out of the castle.
"Hey, I technically own Europe...but you can have it if you want." Garbanzo's eyebrows rose. The twins shook their heads frantically.
"No, Dad, don't do it, don't do it!" But Garbanzo was smiling. They fell to their knees.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * * *

Moxie clutched Sean Preston to her chest, muffling the baby's never ending commentary. The wolf dogs were right at her heels. She screamed. Suddenly, the creepy wolf dogs stopped and fell in a hole. Moxie stopped running.

"Whoa...how so like 'The Village' was THAT?" Natalie grabbed her friend's arm, gasping for breath.

"Whoa...that was...quite...a chase...we almost...got eaten." She fell to the ground, still gasping. Victor climbed out of the tree he had taken refuge in.

"That vas close. Let's rest for a little vhile." They all sat down. Sean Preston was still talking.

"I am very hungry, Mommy. Would you give me something to drink?" Moxie rolled her eyes.

"I'm not your mommy."

"Yes, you are, mommy. May I have something to drink?" Moxie grunted.

"No, I don't have anything for you to drink." The baby nestled against her chest.

"All right, Mommy. Even if I starve to death, I will not even cry." Victor pinched his nose.

"I think the baby is wet..." Natalie glared at SP.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I said even if I am wet, I will not even cry." Victor took him from Moxie.

"I vill go change him in the woods." The girls looked apprehensive, but Victor was already gone, chatting with SP. Natalie had a premonition that she refused to share with anyone.

"This doesn't feel right..." Suddenly, she slapped her cheek.

"OUCH! Something poked me!" Moxie felt it too.

"Ouch!" She looked up and saw a hawk fly by, carrying Sean Preston, who was not even crying. There was a scary 1 inch person riding it, screaming, "I STOLE THE BABY! I STOLE THE BABY!" Moxie groaned.

"Come on, Natalie, we have to save SP while being attacked by midgets." They started running after the hawk. Suddenly they fell in a hole. How descriptive was THAT?

(Yeah. More Willow tomorrow. And stuff. OOOR maybe I'll summarize what's happened so far. YEAH. I'll do that.)

Part 20: The author ran out of [extremely dumb] witty titles

(Author's note: I STALLED SINCE FRIDAY! Whatever, sometimes I hate this soap A LOT! But whatever. It's getting good. So like LAST WEEK, Ashes was still being held at gunpoint by two evil adolescent boys and stuffs and Natalie and them got rescued from the mountains by a helicopter, but Natalie rescued the pilot, BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO IT IS, I had a pretty good idea, but I don't remember now... Darn.)

Stolen Movie Plot: "Willow" and something from Bill Cosby's "Revenge" album lol

Special Guest Stars: Britney Spears (don't worry, she dies) and Ahnold (OLD SCHOOL...aw, no picture, I guess....) Britney Spears screamed in agony. Who knew childbirth could be so painful? The midwife wiped some sweat off her brow.
"Honey, why did you even get pregnant then?" Britney blinked.
"Like, is there a way NOT to get pregnant?"
"Birth control..."
"Does that make the baby come out more controlled?" The midwife banged her head against the stone wall eight times. Finally, the baby popped out and started crying. Britney wept tears of joy.
"YAY, I GOT A BABY!" The midwife grabbed it.
"Quick, let's see what it is!" Britney blinked again.
"Um...a baby?" The midwife jumped and almost dropped the baby.
"Oh no...it's a boy!" Britney started sobbing.
"Oh no, not a boy, the evil dictator woman will kill him!" The midwife placed the baby in her laundry basket, covered him in rags, and ran off. Britney screamed after her, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, DON'T SAVE MY BABY, SAVE ME INSTEAD!" Suddenly, trumpets sounded. The Dictator Woman was coming. Britney whimpered as a formidable looking (insert descriptive feminine term here) walked into the room.
It...
was...
ASHES!!!! (dun dun dun)
The confused readers frowned.
"Hey," They complained. "Weren't you being held at gunpoint last episode?" Ashes smiled, revealing pointy teeth.
"All in good time." She turned to Britney. "Give me that baby!" Britney clutched her pillow to her chest.
"NO!" Ashes paused.
"Why are you hugging that pillow?"
"It's not a pillow, it's a baby!"
"Right. Where's the baby?"
"IN THE PILLOWCASE!" Ashes grabbed the pillow and sneered.
"WHAT BABY?" Then she noticed the absense of the midwife. "THE MIDWIFE'S GOT THE BABY, GO GET HER! OH, AND BE SURE TO SEARCH THE MIDGET VILLAGES!" Britney was jumping up and down on the bed.
"MY BABY IS PART OF A PROPHECY, ISN'T HE? HE'S GOING TO COME BACK AND FINISH YOU! HE'LL FINISH YOU!" Ashes rolled her eyes and turned to the guard standing at the door.
"Kill her."

* * * *

"YOU!" Natalie cried again. Moxie and Victor were salivating in awe. Arnold Schwarzengger smiled at them, revealing pearly white teeth.

"The state of Calleeforneea asked for me to rescue you because I am such big action hero." Moxie sighed dreamily.

"That's very nice of you, Mr. Governor of California, sir." Victor glared at this new man.

"I am from Bulgaria and I do not know of this...Arnold man. Prove you are the governor of said place." Arnold pulled out a badge that said "Governor" on it.

"There. Now get in the helicopter." The girls hopped in excitedly. Victor followed cautiously. Arnold lifted off the ground.

"I am going to drop you off in New York because it has something to do with your destiny. And I will be dropping you off by river." Moxie nodded.

"I did not understand anything you just said." Arnold just smiled and concentrated on um...piloting.

* * * *

Dole and Krillin marched through the forest, followed by a large troop of G. I. Joes. Dole turned to face his men.

"Okay, look for a scary girl with curly blondish hair and pointy teeth. Be careful: SHE BITES! MOVE OUT!"

"SIR YES SIR!" Replied the G. I. Joes and moved out. Garbanzo appeared, wearing a velvet track suit and looking very out of breath.

"Boys!" He gasped. "I really don't think this is necessary." Krillin pointed his rifle at the unfit Italian.

"Sorry Dad, but we're doing this for you." Garbanzo laughed.
"For me? But I WANT to marry Ashes!" The twins looked at each other.

"It's for your safety. We believe she's dangerous." Garbanzo laughed again.

"DANGEROUS? How?" Dole pulled out a thick book. Garbanzo read the title.

"'Vampires'?"

"Precisely. Ashes is a grade-A 100% no doubt about it son of a gun rootin tootin-" Krillin shot him a look, reminding him to keep it short. "She's a vampire. Dad, we know, we found TONS of vampires at camp!" Garbanzo looked shocked.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, they were really dangerous. The weird thing was, they all seemed to be counselors..." Garbanzo leaned against a tree stump.

"Vampires...my fiancee is a vampire..." Krillin rolled is eyes.

"That's not as bad as what your ex-girlfriend Moxie was..." Garbanzo's head snapped up.

"What was Moxie?"

* * * *

Victor, glad to finally be out of the stupid helicopter, dived into the river. Moxie blinked.

"I didn't know there were rivers in the state of New York." Natalie shrugged.

"I dunno." Moxie didn't look convinced.

"What if he lied? What if we're really in Mississippi?" Natalie thought for a moment.

"How DO you spell Mississippi?"

"M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I." Victor and Moxie said in unison. Victor got to his feet suddenly and pointed.

"Look over there!" The girls looked. Moxie squinted.

"I don't see anything." Natalie saw it, however.

"There's a baby! And it has a leaf on its mouth!" (don't ask, it's in the movie) All three of them ran to the baby, but Natalie tripped and fell face first in the water, so Moxie and Victor got there first. Victor lifted the baby gently from the water. It looked at both Moxie and Victor with a smile on its face.

"Hello. My name is Sean Preston, and I love you both. What time would you like to wake up in the morning?" Victor shrugged.

"I don't know vhat time, maybe 7:00?" The baby smiled even wider.

"I will sleep till 8:00 and when I wake up I will not make a sound and when I'm wet I will not even cry. My name is Sean Preston and I love you both." Victor and Moxie looked at each other. Moxie coughed.

"Um...that was weird." Natalie screamed suddenly.

"AAAAAAAAAGH! SCARY LOOKING WOLF DOGS!" There were, indeed, scary looking wolf dogs standing on the opposite bank. Victor handed Moxie the baby.

"RUN!"

(MWAHAHAHA! Tomorrow: The trio is pursued by wolf dogs and Ashes goes all Sauron.)

Part 19: If you are being kidnapped...LIE!

(Author's note: Yeah, so I totally haven't posted in a while. Cool. BUT I REALLY DON'T CARE. Cuz I've got writer's block and I'VE GOT IT BAD. And I'm kind of stalling and taking quizzes at the same time. I'm going to leave Ashes at gunpoint for now, cuz I'm kind of hoping she'll die. I'm kind of in control... So the next few episodes are gonna be musical based. Cool..... Zzzzzz...)

Stolen Movie Plot: "The Sound of Music", and this one thing from "Bad Kitty" (which is a book) that you probably won't get...:(...oh, and "The Challenge"

Special Guest Star: Ryan Seacrest (pic tomorrw)

The three continued screaming. Pierre sighed in annoyance.
"SHUT UP!" They quieted. "Much better." He observed their frightened faces with a smirk. "No need to fear, we just wanted to ask where you were going." Natalie looked at Moxie. Moxie looked at Natalie. They both looked at Victor (which is what I'm going to call him since typing "Crumb" drives me CRAZY!!!!), who blanched white.
"Um, ve vere going...going to..." He looked at the girls. Natalie looked Pierre square in the eye.
"We were going to a singing competition." The parking lot was silent but for Pierre's evil Canadian laughter.
"A singing competition, eh? Where? There aren't any singing competitions in the area...are there?" The other Simple Plan members shook their heads regretfully and pointed across the street. There stood a huge sign with flashing lights, pointing at a theater, reading, "SINGING COMPETITION DURING LUNCH!!!!!!!" Everyone in Simple Plan groaned. Mary-Kate peeled herself off the front of Victor's car and rubbed her head.
"What just happened?" Moxie clapped her hands happily.
"YES!!!!! Mary-Kate was stricken with amnesia from your amazing defensive driving, Crumb!" Crumb smiled.
"Please...call me Victor." Natalie scoffed.
"Victor...Crumb...MAKE UP YOUR MIND!" Her outburst caused Mary-Kate to regain her memory. Everyone glared at Natalie.
"Nice going, loser." Natalie wiped away a tear and shrunk farther down in the backseat. Pierre opened the door and sat down next to her.
"Well, I was going to the competition to, so you guys can drive me." His bandmates protested loudly, but he shushed them.
"Make like a Good Charlotte member," He said. "And steal someone's car." The Canadians looked at Mary-Kate, who was still a bit dazed, and leaped into her car. Victor sighed loudly and started the car. Pierre rubbed his hands together. Everything was going perfectly...

* * * *

And now for something completely different. Pleeeeeease pleeeeeease don't eat the daisies, don't eat the daisies pleeeeeeeeeease... (STALLING)

* * * *

Victor peeked around the curtain and stared at the audience. They didn't look too bad. Then he almost fainted. Moxie caught him.

"Victor, what's wrong?" Victor pointed with a shaky hand.

"I-i-i-i-it's Pete Ventz!" Moxie rolled her eyes.

"Don't even think about it Victor, he's a jerk." Victor was confused. But just then, Natalie walked up.

"OHMYGOSHGUYSI'MTOTALLYFREAKINGOUTHEREGOTITFREAKINGOUT-" Moxie slapped her.

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" She yelled. Natalie calmed down, but still looked anxious.

"What are we going to sing, you guys?" She clammed up as Pierre walked up. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Hello ladies...having any trouble?" Victor glared at him.

"I am not a lady...I am a man!" Pierre rolled his eyes, still grinning.

"Oh...SORRY, Victor. You, um, sort of blend in with the decor." Which didn't even make sense...unless you counted the fact that Victor was wearing red like the stage curtain. Moxie looked at Pierre's feet and noticed he was wearing extremely ugly fringed boots. She started clapping.

"Oooh, good one. Too bad about the FRINGED BOOTS." Pierre grimaced at her and walked away. Suddenly, the three of them were being shoved onto the stage. Someone placed an acoustic guitar into Natalie's hands. She smiled thoughtfully and started strumming. Moxie almost started laughing as Natalie played the opening chords to "Photograph". She started singing. Surprisingly, Victor had not only caught on, but was doing some sort of interpretive dance. (L! O! L!)

"IT'S HARD TO SAY IT, TIME TO SAY IT! GOODBYE! GOODBYE!" Moxie sang harmony. The judges were enthralled. As soon as Natalie stopped playing and Victor stopped dancing, they gave the trio a standing ovation. Ryan Seacrest ushered them off the stage so he could have the spotlight.

"Yeah, they were great, cool, vote for them. The judging will commence shortly." Moxie squealed with happiness as they went backstage.

"OMG YOU GUYS THAT WAS SO COOL!!!!!!!" Natalie and Victor grabbed her arms and started dragging her to the emergency exit door. Moxie stared at them.

"Um, guys, what are you doing?" Natalie grunted with effort.

"Escaping." Victor looked disappointed.

"I vould have liked to have stayed. Ve vere going to vin, and you know it." Natalie shook her head.

"I have a plan."

* * * *

Ryan Seacrest stepped onto the stage and shook the piece of folded paper he held.

"I HAVE THEM! I have the results!" He unfolded it slowly. "And the winner...of...our...singing...competition...is...." He paused dramatically. The audience considered throwing potatoes at him for making them wait so long. "Um, Natalie, Victor, and MOXIE!!" The crowd erupted. Everyone was on their feet. Pierre sat back contentedly.

"Everything is going according to plan..." But the three he had been stalking never appeared on the stage. The crowd's raucous cheers dimmed a little. Ryan looked around.

"Yeah, um, where the heck are they?" Pierre's eyes popped open. This was not part of the plan. He signaled to his friends and they followed him to the parking lot.

* * * *

We cut to the Catskill Mountains. There are three figures resting on the mountain. The sweet strains of "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" are floating quietly through the air... Victor covered his ears with his hands.

"Moxie, you can stop singing now!" It was true, that Moxie was horribly off-key. But this pushed her to the breaking point.

"FINE! Geez, Victor, the only person you care about is yourself! Just shut up and leave me alone!" Natalie was concentrating hard. Suddenly, she grabbed her checkbook, ripped out a check, stole Moxie's compact, and started trying to make a fire. A tiny bit of smoke appeared and rose up to the sky. Natalie smiled triumphantly.

"Victor! Moxie! Get some stones!" The two who had been fighting moments before exchanged a glance, confirming their suspicions that Natalie had gone completely insane, and united together to form a megaperson to gather stones. In minutes, a helicopter appeared and started heading towards them. The three castaways started jumping up and down excitedly. Finally, the helicopter landed. Natalie ran to the pilot...and gasped in shock.

"YOU!"

(HEHEHE tomorrow you'll get to see who "you" is. WHOA, bad grammar. Lol. And Ashes might possibly be spared from death.)

Part 18: I'M FULL BLOODED ITALIAN! *shakes head full of blonde hair*

(Author's note: Yeah, when I said tomorrow, I meant NEXT WEEK. Oh well, my bad. So we have an interesting plot twist. It seems Natalie and Moxie have switched bodies. Audience: *boos* Well, sorry! It's not as good as what I have coming...which isn't that good. Darn it. Why is my cpu being EVIL? I don't know... It won't let me look at music videos. Actually, that's just Integrity. *glares* YOU'RE DUMB. And so it must be INTEGRITY that's so dang slow. Load pictures...10 minutes. Load images (WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS GET UNDERLINED? DUMB DUMB DUMB! Oh, that's not underlined. Woopie. BRB, gotta walk the dog. :P cool.

Special Guest Star(s): Natasha Richardson (only implied, so she doesn't get a picture) and Cole and Dylan Sprouse (all possibly becoming new characters.

Stolen Movie Plot: "The Parent Trap"...and something else?

Garbanzo lounged by one of his many outdoor pools at one of six summer houses, even tho it wasn't summer. Ashes lay next to him in an identical lawn chair. Garbanzo smiled Britishly at her.
"I'm so glad you're here. My son..." He looked at the director, confused, for there was White Out on his script. The director shrugged, so he improvised. "My son DOLE," Ashes wrinkled her nose. "Is coming home from summer camp today. I'm sure you'll just love him." Ashes smiled again.
"I love you." She threw her arms around his neck...and admired the ring behind his back. Garbanzo, however, was oblivious to this not so exuberant display of affection, because two short little blonde boys were walking towards him.
"Dole! And...who are you?" Suddenly, he gasped. (shocker there.) "Is that...KRILLIN? MY LONG LOST OTHER SON?" He stood up, throwing Ashes on the ground, and hugged both boys. The squirrelly boys squirmed out of the hug.
"Sorry, Dad, but there's some business we need to take care of." Garbanzo stared at them.
"But...I don't understand!" Krillin shook his head. Dole put his hand out.
"Chill, padre. We just have something to tell you. (Audience: Eh...this didn't happen in the movie.)" The boys looked at each other and said in unison, "You can't marry her." Garbanzo looked over at Ashes, who looked pretty mad. Not mad. Livid, in fact. But the twins didn't seem to notice. Krillin pulled out a picture of another British chick.
"We met at camp and we were forced to live together...well, that's another story. But we found out that we're really long lost twin brothers and that you still love Mom and that she's an evil witch who only wants you for your money." Ashes snarled, which totally did not go with her black and white bikini.
"Vampire, actually, not witch." Dole raised an eyebrow.
"I'm going to assume you're kidding." Garbanzo laughed.
"Boys, Ashes and I love each other. I know that's hard for you to understand, but..." Krillin sighed.
"We didn't want to have to do this, Dad..." Both boys pulled out M-16's. "Really, we are." They aimed at Ashes...

* * * *

Victor looked at both girls, who were now sobbing uncontrollably.

"Vell..." He said, running a hand over his very short hair. "This is awkvard." Moxie who was really Natalie (now referred to as Natalie/Moxie) threw the rest of the fortune cookies at the waiter, who looked a lot like Warren Peace BUT DOESN'T GET A PICTURE CUZ I'M TIRED GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. Moxie/Natalie was trying to pull out her own hair.

"EWWWW THIS IS SO GROSS, I'M A BRUNETTE!" Natalie/Moxie glared at her.

"There's nothing wrong with being a brunette." Moxie/Natalie started sobbing.

"WAAAAAAH NOW I'M ALL BRAINY AND NOT BLONDE AND BEAUTIFUL!" Natalie/Moxie put her hands on her hips.

"I beg your pardon!" Victor stepped between the two of them.

"GIRLS! Control yourselves! Ve need to remain calm." He could see this wasn't working. "I guess ve need some more ice cream, no?" The girls nodded, still giving each other death glares.

While sitting in the now clean car (Natalie had magically cleaned it before switching bodies with her best friend), they ate more Ben and Jerry's (Victor seemed to have an endless supply). Moxie/Natalie put down her spoon in defeat.

"So am I going to be a brunette forever?" Natalie/Moxie scowled.

"I hope not." Victor gave them both a warning look and swallowed another bite of Munky. Suddenly, he started choking. Moxie/Natalie threw her arms around his middle.

"OHMYGOSHSTAYCALMIKNOWTHEHEIMLICH!" Victor shook his head.

"No, I'm fine, it's just..." He put a finger to his lips and pointed. Mary-Kate's purple bug sat not too far away in another parking spot. Natalie/Moxie looked around.

"But...then where's Mary-Kate?" Mary-Kate suddenly appeared, smashed up against the dashboard window, smiling evilly.

"I'm baaaaaaaa-aaaaaaack..." She said in a nasal voice. Everyone (including Victor) screamed. Victor started the car immediately and backed up, almost hitting someone else. Mary-Kate hung on for dear life. Trying another tactic, Victor sped towards the curb. He hit it and Mary-Kate flew off. Moxie and Natalie hit their heads on the ceiling.

"Ouch," said Moxie, rubbing her blonde hair. Natalie's eyes widened.

"YOU'RE BLONDE AGAIN! THANK YOU GOD!" She turned to Victor. "THANK YOU FOR THAT CRAPPY DRIVING!" She would have hugged him, but Moxie looked slightly possessive. Victor didn't look happy.

"We need to get out of here." Moxie smiled.

"Why what could happen?" Victor pointed.

"That?" The five members of Simple Plan had their car surrounded. Pierre was grinning up a storm.

"Hi there...." Everyone screamed.

(That really stunk. That stunk like a lot. I STINK. Tomorrow: I'll think of something...)

Part 17: Let's go out for dinner. My fortune: you. Your fortune: me.

(Author's note: I swear, that's actually in the game of Romance. Which is a gay game. BUT ANYWAYS. Mary-Kate is being a scary serial killer now. OH YES, I need a picture of her. Anyways, while that’s loading up, Crumb gave Natalie and Moxie ice cream cuz they were all depressed about Tyler being…um…dead. But the weird thing is I’m not that sad about it? Maybe it’s because I know things that I don’t know yet…wait. That didn’t make any sense. SERIOUSLY, like Kenny! I was wearing my camo, “Ha! I can see you, but you can’t see me,” shirt and Kenny’s like, “That doesn’t even make sense.” Whatever. It’s CAMOFLAUGE, you moron. BUT ANYWAYS. So…um…yes…well…TOTALLY SKY HIGH TODAY. Well, not totally. BUT KIND OF. WOOOOOOOOOO! So yeah?)
Stolen Movie Plot: "SKY HIGH"!!!! Oh, and "Freaky Friday". And we have a magical car chase... Kinda. No picture of that, I WORK TOO HARD ALREADY. *sniff*

Crumb wiped some sweat off his forehead. Natalie looked behind them. A scary purple VW Bug was following them.
"Um, no pressure, Victor, but I think that's Mary-Kate." Crumb groaned. Moxie was still shoveling her face with Phish Food. Natalie glared at her.
"MOXIE! How can you eat at a time like this?" Moxie swallowed a Phish.
"At a time like what?" Crumb sighed.
"I think I feel a car chase coming on." He swerved sharply to the left. Moxie spilled the ice cream all over her front.
"Great! Now I have to buy ANOTHER outfit." Crumb shook his head.
"I'm sure your friend can lend you some clothes. I'll wash these." Moxie stared at him.
"No way...YOU CAN WASH CLOTHES? WOO, DREAM DATE!" The car got very silent after that last remark... The purple bug was still following them. Natalie glimpsed Mary-Kate through the back window. Mary-Kate was using words even an amateur lip reader could figure out. Crumb floored it. Moxie and Natalie hung on for dear life. There was ice cream all over the interior, but Crumb didn't seem to care. Finally, it seemed they had lost Mary-Kate. Natalie sighed with relief.
"May I ask why you freaked out back there, Victor?" Crumb gulped.
"I've had many bad experiences with Mary-Kate. And please, I vould like it if you called me Crumb." Moxie looked around at the vanilla washed car.
"Um...sorry about this. We're totally gonna wash your car for you." Crumb shook his head.
"Don't vorry. I vill clean it. You don't have to."
"But I want to. Because you gave us ice cream and everything and we totally trashed your car...AND NOW YOU'RE TAKING US OUT TO DINNER? IT'S NOT EVEN NOON!" Crumb smiled.
"Correction: I am taking you out to lunch!" He helped Moxie out of the car. Natalie sat back with a sigh. The two didn't even seem to notice she was there.
"Okay," she called. "I'll just sit here."

* * * *

Moxie twirled a bunch of noodles around her plate.

"This is really fun," she said to no one in particular. Crumb smiled.

"You are not like other girls. You do not make fun of me." Moxie shrugged.

"Maybe that's because most girls don't know you go to an all-girl's school. I meant, don't CARE if you go to an all-girls school!" An awkward silence ensued. "Wonton?" Crumb took the offered wonton.

"I am saying that..." He stopped. Obviously he didn't really know what he was saying. Moxie suddenly sighed. Crumb looked up worriedly.

"Vhat is the matter?" Moxie shook her head.

"Look at this menu." Crumb looked at it. There was an advertisement for Garbanzo's new clothing line. Garbanzo himself stood sprawled in a model pose, taking up half the page. Crumb glanced at it.

"This picture...it makes you sad?" Moxie nodded. "Vhy is that?" Moxie took a deep breath.

"I like that guy." Crumb looked slightly crestfallen, but got over it quickly.

"Then vhy don't you tell him?" Moxie shrugged again.

"He likes somebody else and she's...perfect." Crumb considered this.

"Vell, vhat I think is that to let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart." Moxie gaped at him.

"Wow...that is soooo deep." Crumb smiled.

"Yes. And your lucky numbers are 14, 8, 7, 29, and 50." Moxie laughed. Natalie came up to their table, interrupting their romantic moment.

"Okay, Victor, I finished cleaning out your car. Hey, look, fortune cookies!" She and Moxie both took one. Suddenly, the walls started shaking and both girls fell over. Crumb got up and helped Moxie to her feet, leaving Natalie on the floor. Natalie scowled.

"Gee, thanks, Victor." She had Moxie's voice. Crumb started and dropped Moxie. Moxie fell back with a scream.

"Thanks a bunch, singing partner!" Suddenly, they realized what was going on. Moxie (who was really Natalie) gasped.

"Oh my gosh...WE'VE SWITCHED PLACES!"

(The plot thickens...yada yada yada. LOL THAT WAS AN AWESOME LAME CAR CHASE! Not. G2g. Tomorrow: Both girls attempt to switch bodies and a new plot twist occurs...)

Part 16: When in doubt...buy ice cream?

(Author's note: I JUST KILLED OFF MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! It's pretty early in the soap...I don't know how I'm going to make this go on. Cuz I have some pretty stellar ideas for the end...and we're not even close to the end. BUT TYLER IS DEAD! Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Yeah. I'm pretty sad about that. BUT ANYWAYS. Today, um...I uh...Krum, AGH, I meant Crumb joins the squad in place of the lost Tyler and Elmo...because he's worth two men. :) :) :) Yeah...)

New Character: Mary-Kate Olsen, picture tomorrow

Moxie stood staring at the tall good looking Bulgarian seeker, who wasn't really a seeker cuz everyone knows Quidditch isn't real.
"Um...dude? Barnard College is a girl's school." Crumb nodded happily. "An all-girl's school." Crumb kept nodding. "And it's private." Crumb stopped nodding. He hadn't seemed to know this bit of information. "So what are you doing here?" Crumb shrugged.
"I had my father pull a few strings to get me in here..." Moxie gagged.
"You're sick." Crumb frowned.
"I am not the smartest man. I only meant I vould love to get the education given here. Vhat did you tink I meant?" Moxie laughed nervously.
"Oh, I thought...never mind..." Crumb looked at Natalie, who was lying on the ground in the fetal position.
"Vhat is vrong vith your friend?" Natalie looked up and answered for Moxie.
"My ex-boyfriend just killed..." She stopped, not knowing how to describe Tyler. "Just killed my, um, singing partner?" Crumb nodded.
"Aaah...I know the feeling. My great uncle vonce killed my second cousin." There was an awkward silence. Moxie blinked.
"That doesn't really apply." Crumb shrugged.
"You're allowed to marry your second cousin in Bulgaria. That is vhere I come from." No one commented on that interesting tidbit. Crumb let it go. "You are sad. I vill buy you some ice cream." Natalie shook her head.
"No, thanks, that's okay." But Moxie had jumped at the chance of ice cream.
"SURE, I'd LOVE some ice cream! Where should we go?" She grabbed Natalie and jerked her upwards. Crumb waved them towards his car.
"I have ice cream in my car for after class. Sometimes the girls they make fun of me and I need solitude." Moxie gasped.
"That's just horrible!" Crumb pulled out three pints of Ben and Jerry's.
"I have Vone Sweet Vhirled...vould you like this vone?" He offered it to Natalie. She took it willingly: it was a discontinued flavor. He looked at the other two.
"Vell...I have Chunky Munky and Phish Food. I am partial to the Munky kind, but vhich vone vould you like?" Moxie shrugged.
"I guess I'll have Phish Food, then." They leaned against his car and ate their delicious 1 million calorie snacks. Natalie felt a little bit better. She hadn't eaten ice cream in about six days and she'd been missing it. Suddenly, Miss Reedarbus came running out to the parking lot.
"Natalie...Miss Natalie?" Natalie swallowed her bite of ice cream.
"Yeah."
"You and Mr. Tyler have gotten the part." Natalie shook her head sadly.
"I'm sorry, Miss Reedarbus. Tyler was killed just a few minutes ago." Miss Reedarbus frowned.
"You don't say...well, that's all right. Victor? Do you reckon you could sing with her?" Crumb choked on his Munky. Miss Reedarbus patted him on the back.
"That's the spirit! I knew you'd do it! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to tell Ms. Olsen. She hasn't found out yet." She walked away. Crumb shook his head.
"I can't sing! Vhat am I going to do?" Natalie wiped away a tear.
"I guess I'll just have to...give up the part!" Moxie thought for a moment.
"The play's not for a few weeks..." Both Natalie and Crumb stared at her.
"Uh...yeah, Moxie. Tyler could figure out as much." She flinched, as tho the ghost of Tyler had slapped her. Crumb banged his head against his ice cream, getting bananas in his hair.
"Now all the girls vill hate me even more!" Moxie grinned.
"Not at all...not if you lip-synch!" Suddenly, they heard a loud banshee cry. Mary-Kate was running towards them, clutching a bloody sword and looking quite menacing.
"YOU! YOU STOLE THE PART FROM ME! I COULD KILL YOU!" Natalie grunted.
"Yeah right. You're like...5 foot. I could totally take you." But Crumb looked scared.
"Ve better go! Hurry! Get in the car!" They did what he said, still holding their precious ice cream. Crumb put the car in drive and drove off, Mary-Kate shaking her fist at them angrily.

(I KNEW SHE WAS A SERIAL KILLER! So cool. I didn't know One Sweet Whirled was discontinued...darn. I've never had Ben and Jerry's and I want some! Grrr... Tomorrow: Car chase possibly, Ashes does something evil ((I SWEAR I'LL PUT IT THIS TIME)) and a lot of jolly good fun.)

Part 15: It was, um, THE RING!

(Author's note: SORRY ABOUT BEING SWAMPED! And about yesterday, scratch the Bible Man scene, it's going to be a mix of "The Lion King" and "FOTR" ((STILL NOT DONE WITH TWO TOWERS, BTW)) and stuffs like that. NEW CHARACTER! Need to find a beautiful picture of him. :) Hehe.)

Stolen Movie Plot: “The Lion King”, “The Fellowship of the Ring”

NEW CHARACTER: Victor Crumb (new spelling = totally original. *wink wink*)

Tyler ran after Natalie, who seemed to be in a trance. She was walking sleepily up the stairs. He followed her up nearly three flights of the silly things. Finally, when he couldn’t possibly go up any more steps, she stopped. So did he. There stood Elmo and Moxie, who was lying on the floor, all tied up. Moxie was struggling against her bindings.

“Tyler, run! Get Natalie and go! Elmo wants to kill you!” Tyler shook his head.

“Not without you. Natalie would kill me.” (I swear, I don't know why this is all underlined...) Moxie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, just like Elmo wants to kill you! Now get out of here." But Tyler stood his ground. Elmo chuckled. (WHY IS MY CPU DOING THIS!!! AGH!)
"It's nice to see you again, Tyler." Tyler glared at him.

"I was hoping I'd never see you again." Elmo's grin turned into a sneer.

"I was thinking the same thing. You were always in my way." Moxie looked from Tyler to Elmo, then back to Tyler.

"Um, what is going on here? How do you two know each other?" Tyler gaped at her.

"I swear, you're getting smarter every episode, Moxie." Moxie shrugged, or tried to, seeing as she was all tied up.

"It's a gift." Elmo was still staring fixedly at Tyler.

"All that's about to change. Get ready to meet your demise, Tyler." Tyler whistled.

"Wow...that's a big word there, Elmo. How long did it take you to find it in the dictionary?" Elmo growled and lunged for him. Tyler felt the air leave his lungs and he felt himself falling into empty space. Moxie screamed. Her scream awoke Natalie, who still didn't know what was going on. Then she saw Moxie on the floor, the french bread, the fan, and Tyler gripping the slick floor, trying not to fall into the empty elevator shaft beneath him. Natalie gasped (surprise, surprise. GET A NEW HABIT).

"Tyler!" She ran to him and reached out her hand. Tyler grabbed for it, then slid back a few inches. Elmo was holding on to his legs, jeering the tall 21-year-old (I can't find any descriptive words) as he held on.

"Your father is dead...and it's all your fault." Tyler slid again, his face white.

"No, it was an accident!" Elmo chuckled again.

"An accident you caused. Accidents do happen...but that doesn't mean it was your fault." Natalie held on for dear life.

"I don't know why, but I don't want to let you die because I feel like my life depends on you." Tyler rolled his eyes.

"That's comforting." Natalie tried to think of something subtlely romantic as not to break the mounting sexual tension that was necessary for the show to function, but she couldn't think of anything. Elmo jabbed Tyler's leg with his fingernails, which were surprisingly long. Tyler let out a cry of pain.

"I remember when you I saw you standing over your father's body. What was it I told you?" Tyler tried to kick the scary man, but to no avail.

"Shut up, Elmo!"

"Aaah, I remember! I believe it was, 'Go, Tyler. Go away, and never come back.'" Natalie was confused.

"What is he talking about, Tyler? He killed your father, not you?" Tyler looked away, manly tears glinting in his eyes. (YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!) Natalie felt someone grab her waist. Moxie had somehow escaped her bindings and was pulling Natalie back. She grinned.

"Hold on, guys, we're almost there." None of them saw Elmo take out his knife and jab it into Tyler's side. Tyler screamed and let go of Natalie's hand. He grabbed the edge and his face was visible for a few more moments. The last words he said were, "Fly, you fools!" Then he let go. Natalie lunged for his hand, but it was too late. She felt a sob escape her throat.

"NOOOOOOO! TYLER!!!!!!!" Her cry was so loud that teachers and students from all over the school came to see what was the matter. Moxie helped her friend up and waved everyone else away.

"She's fine. She just needs some air." She guided Natalie down the stairs and outside. Natalie was crying.

"I can't believe he's GONE!" Moxie smiled feebly.

"Well, look on the bright side...Elmo's gone too!" But that just made Natalie cry harder. Moxie wished she were more helpful. "Crumbs, I wish I were more helpful."

"You called?" Moxie turned around. An extremely hot buff Bulgarian guy was standing before her. Natalie looked up and recognized him as the guy she'd seen in Mr. Sours' classroom. Moxie glared at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You said my name. I'm Crumb, Victor Crumb. How may I help you?"

(Well...he's gone. Sorry, guys. WE'LL MISS YOU, TYLER! Let's have a moment of silence for our lost comrade. That's enough silence. Tomorrow: Crumb teams up with Natalie and Moxie. Garbanzo maybe. I dunno. I'm tired.)

Let me know

Hm, line in Falling Up song...
I AM SWAMPED. I didn't finish yesterday's post, and I still have to do a double episode, so LET ALL WHO HAVE EARS HEAR THIS!
I will just do the second part of Part 14 as Part 15 and there will BE NO DOUBLE EPISODE AS I HAVE NO TIME TO DO IT. Well, I might tomorrow, but my mind doesn't work like that. Fool. But yeah, if anyone cares, I'll be writing tonight, just wanted to let you know.

Part 14: Um, I would save you, but I'd rather watch "Chilly Beach"...

(Author's note: SORRY I was going to post double yesterday, but I ended up not doing so and I most likely won't do so tonight. Sorry. Homework. But anyways. YESSSSSS I'm in Gryffindor! Unicorn hair, yew, 9 inches. SWEET, that's my wand! Hehehe I'm sooo addicted to HP lately, but I'm not going to use one of those movie plots yet, eh. Sooo cool. Um, yesterday, Tyler and Natalie audition for a musical at Natalie's old college, where Tyler discovers the shocking three year age difference, which isn't really that big a deal, but it's Tyler, so...? And today something along the lines of Elmo and french bread and elevator shaft will happen. Cooo... No, I am not cooing, I am...agh, never mind. Um, I'll start writing in a minute... Okay, in a looooong minute. Hm, maybe I can permanently add a HP character to the cast? Cedric, Krum, Cedric, Krum, Cedric, Krum...AGH, I CAN'T DECIDE! *ponders while playing golden egg game* OOOH, 7 SECONDS! YOU GOT OWNED! Wait...I think that's a bad thing. Oh well... I have to pee...)

Stolen Movie Plot: "Bible Man and the Wrath of Rage" for the most part...for one scene...whatever...except in the movie he drops Coats...and Natalie doesn't...SORRY, ZIPPING IT!

Special Guest Stars: That cellphone guy

Character Addition: Coming soon if plot develops in that direction...

Moxie walked nonchalantly down the hall. She didn't know where the heck she was (besides the fact that she was in a college) and was having a lot of fun peeking into classrooms to see what was going on inside of them. A sour looking professor glared at her as she poked her head into his classroom.
"Go away!" Moxie giggled.
"Sorry." But she wasn't. This was too much fun.
A hoarse whispers wafted down the halls toward her. "Further, come further, open up this classroom, won't you pleaaaaase?" Moxie looked around. She didn't see anyone. The whispering continued.
"Come on, come ON, you're so SLOOOOW! Hurry up...faster...closer...good." Moxie kept walking. The voice was getting louder.
"Closer...closer...STOP!" Moxie stopped. The cellphone guy appeared from around the corner. He was talking into his cellphone.
"Can you hear me now? Gooood..." He walked away, seeming not to notice Moxie. Moxie breathed a sigh of relief. Then she heard another voice. A different voice. She frowned.
"WHAT'S WITH ALL THE VOICES! If you have something to say, don't bother to WHISPER!"
"Okay then." Whispered the voice. Moxie grunted in frustration.
"If you're going to whisper, come over here so I can hear you properly."
"I am over here." Moxie rolled her eyes.
"Well, I don't SEE you!"
"That's cuz I'm right behind you." Moxie suddenly felt a sharp pain in her back. Strange...it felt like someone was taking out her liver...

* * * *

Natalie groaned as they exited the auditorium. "That was horrible."

"No it wasn't." Tyler assured her. Natalie stared at him.

"We didn't know half the words. And I was singing in the wrong key the whole time."

"Were not."

"And then you did that jazz square. I told you not to do that jazz square." Tyler reddened.

"It's a crowd favorite! Everyone loves a good jazz square!" They walked in silence. Then they realized a very important member of their party was missing.

"Moxie!" Natalie cried. "Where's Moxie?" Tyler shrugged.

"Maybe she's back in the auditorium?" But she wasn't. The two of them raced down the hall, crying their friend's name. Several professors stepped out of their classrooms to glare at them. Natalie asked the sour looking one if he had seen anyone.

"Did I see anyone? Yes, I did. Some annoying blonde girl disrupting my class." A tall broad-shouldered guy with thick dark eyebrows smiled dreamily.

"She vas hot." He had a strange accent. The professor rolled his eyes.

"Oh, shut up, Crumb!" (HAHAHA I decided. And since I changed the spelling of his name, it's all original!) Crumb shrugged and went back to his textbook. Cellphone Man walked up, still holding his cellphone to his ear.

"Can you hear me now? Goood... How bout now? GOOD!" Natalie ran after him.

"Oh mister cellphone, please mister cellphone, have you seen anyone lately? Particularly a blonde girl who giggles obsessively?" CM sighed exasperatedly.

"Hold on. What do you want?" He asked Natalie rudely. But before she could repeat the question, he said, "Blonde girl? Yeah, my boss kept pointing her out." Natalie's eyes narrowed.

"Who's your boss?"

* * * *

Moxie found her liver was, in fact, still intact, but the pain in her lower back did not recede. Elmo kept smirking.

"I finally got Moxie. I finally got Moxie. Now Natalie will HAVE to come see me." Moxie rolled over to face him (he'd tied her up and thrown her on the floor, which hurt...A LOT).

"Clue phone, it's for you...IT'S OVER! It's BEEN over! Get a grip, Elmo!" Elmo shook his head.

"You poor, simple..." He couldn't think up a suitable insult. "Blonde person. I don't want to see Natalie. But wherever Natalie goes, Tyler goes also." Moxie frowned.

"What do you want to do with Tyler?" Elmo's smile grew wider.

"That's for you to know...and me to find out...wait... Never mind. Now for the next part of my plan." He unwrapped a large loaf of Albertson's french bread. Moxie gasped.

"You wouldn't!" Elmo nodded.

"I would." He placed the french bread on a sheet of wax paper and turned on a fan, which was facing the stairs. "I so totally would..."

* * * *

Natalie stopped in her tracks. A delicious smell she knew very well was floating towards her...French bread... She drifted towards it. Tyler noticed her walking away.

"Um...Natalie...where the heck are you going?"

(AAAAAAAH I'll finish this tonight but I'm being kicked offline.)

Part 13: A Big Musical Number in which Tyler DOES sing, and the promised cage match seems to be absent

(Author's note: Wow. Long title. YES, I'm actually going to go through with it and write today's. Cuz I have an okay idea. That involves the Olsen twins. But not "New York Minute". Which I'm sure all of you are extremely pleased about. Hehehe. But yeah. Sooooooo... OOOH I wanna show you my TMNT picture. And I need to find a picture of that chick from High School Musical. *sigh* A writer's job is never done.)

Stolen Movie Plot: "High School Musical" and "Barbie Nutcracker" (there's like...one line from it, but I thought it would be funny.)

Special Guest Star(s): Alyson Reed (no photo) and I FINALLY have a TMNT PICTURE! Well, it’s not really a TMNT picture. But it’s the best I could do. On Paint. Yeah. Oh well. They might appear…sometime. And Mary-Kate. Olsen. Haha, like there’s another one BUT ANYWAYS. She doesn’t get a picture cuz she looks just like Ashley.

The three of them ran through the streets of New York, avoiding drunk taxi drivers and men with Slurpees (don't ask). Elmo wasn't even following them anymore, but they ran anyway. Finally, unable to run any longer, Tyler pointed.

"Look," he said in while gasping for breath. "It's the college Mary-Kate and Ashley go to!" Natalie frowned.

"It is?" Tyler shrugged.

"Um, I dunno, I was just saying that cuz..."

"Why?"

"Never mind... I was hoping I'd get lucky." Moxie's ears perked up at the word "lucky".

"I have an idea..." She beckoned for the others to follow her. They walked into the university and almost got run over by two fidgety bug-eyed youths. One of the youths pointed at Natalie.

"hEy! I wAnT wHaT yOu'Re On!!!" Natalie frowned.

"You want my Skittles?" Tyler shoved her out of the way and glared at the youths (that is SO much fun to say! Youths...). They recoiled in horror.

"uH...sOrRy MiStEr TaLl GuY!" They ran away screaming. Natalie looked at Tyler adoringly.

"That was very noble of you." (LOL!) Tyler shrugged.

"Um...sure." This casual response ruined the almost romantic and very tense moment. The two of them shrugged of the noble feelings and followed Moxie, who was walking like there was no tomorrow.

Moxie lead them inside the school's auditorium. It appeared students were trying out for some sort of musical. Right now a nervous lad (I LOVE THESE WORDS! Youths...lads...) wearing an ugly tweed suit and a horrible red and white tie was singing extremely off-key. Tyler winced.

"Even I sing better than that." The girls gawked at him.

"Um, Tyler...you can sing better than anybody..." Tyler shrugged.

"Which proves my point." They thought about that. Sadly, he was right. Suddenly, they both heard a voice and looked around to see the source. A blonde woman wearing glasses and billowy hippie clothes was sitting at a desk surrounding by empty coffee mugs eating French bread.

"Well, Donald that was...that's a lovely tie you're wearing. NEXT!" The tweedy boy limped dejectedly off the stage. Mary-Kate Olsen stepped on all preppy like, wearing ugly Bohemian clothes like she tends to do. The blonde woman shook her head sadly.

"Mary-Kate, Mary-Kate... What am I going to do with you?" Mary-Kate smiled impishly.

"You could give me the part." Her voice seemed higher than usual. Moxie narrowed her eyes.

"I bet she's under some kind of curse. What?" She asked as the others stared at her, their expressions saying, "I truly hope you're kidding." "It happened in Harry Potter!!!" Mary-Kate took a pair of drumsticks out of her ugly Bohemian back pocket.

"I am going to do a drum solo because I learned to play drums to star in 'New York Minute' and I will also sing cuz I've sung at least one song in every movie I've ever been in with my sister!" She started playing and singing.

It's hard to believe that I couldn't see you were always right beside me,

Thought I was alone with no one to hold,

But you were always right beside me.

This feeling's like no other. I want you to know....

That I've never had someone that knows me like you do, the way you do.

I've never had someone as good for me as you, no one like you.

So lonely before, I finally found.....what I was looking fooooorrrr...

Tyler was sad that he'd only winced once. Moxie had winced several times looking at Mary-Kate's horrible outfit. But they all had to admit she was pretty good. The blonde woman took another sip of coffee.

"Thank you, Miss Olsen. Now we have the pairs audition." Silence. Crickets started chirping. Natalie wiped away a tear.

"Awww...it looks like no one's going to try out." She didn't know why she was so sad. After what seemed like a lifetime, Miss Reedarbus (it works...) stood up.

"No pairs? All right. I guess you and your forty year old boyfriend get the part, Mary-Kate." Mary-Kate clapped hippie like. Tyler suddenly popped up.

"I'd like to audition, Miss Reedarbus." Natalie was shocked...not only that he wanted to audition, but that he knew the blonde woman's name. Miss Reedarbus shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Mr....Mr..."

"Um, Tyler."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Tyler, but I called for the pairs auditions, and you didn't answer. Besides, you have no one to sing with you." Natalie sighed and raised her hand.

"I'll sing with her...him." Miss Reedarbus raised her eyebrows.

"Ms. Natalie...I'm surprised. I remember when you graduated here at age 14. Used to love basketball, didn't'cha?" Natalie nodded eagerly. "I hate basketball." Natalie stopped nodding. Suddenly, she went stiff. An odd picture was going through her mind...

"We're going to mess up, we're going to mess up, we're going to mess up,"

"Shut up, Tyler."

"What, we are! And if we do, Elmo said he was going to kill us."

"We're not going to mess up." She took his hand. Which just made the moment more awkward. Tyler took his hand back.

"That's MY hand! You already have two!" Natalie sighed.

"Just know, Tyler, that...I believe in you." Heroic music started playing. It stopped as Tyler said, "That was the corniest thing I think anyone has ever said to me. And my dad was thought to be a fictional character from the 1950's. So I have had many corny things said to me..."

"Just shut up, Tyler." The curtain rose. The audience clapped. The two of them walked on the stage and...

Natalie's premonition ended with the usual hint in bold black letters: IF YOU TRY OUT FOR THIS MUSICAL, YOU WILL NOT ONLY GET THE PART, BUT WILL SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD FROM AN EVIL CANADIAN MAN AND HALEY JOEL OSMENT. The last part was kind of weird. Natalie shrugged it off. Tyler was thinking. He'd missed what everyone else had mistaken for a seizure.

"So you went to this college however long ago?" Natalie nodded.

"Yeah...Barnard college...and I only graduated four years ago." Tyler started at that.

"FOUR YEARS? You're 18?" Natalie nodded.

"My parents made me start kindergarden when I was two...and I skipped a couple grades...so I finished a bit early." Tyler was still stuck on the fact that she was 18.

"Um...well then...I'm 21, so I don't know how this is going to work out..." They had forgotten about Miss Reedarbus. The exasperated drama teacher sighed loudly.

"Are you two going to audition or not?" The two of them nodded enthusiastically. "All right then. Go over by Kelsi, the piano player." They went over to Kelsi. Nuff said. Natalie peered closely at the girl wearing the brown suit with matching bowler.

"Hey...you're not Kelsi!" The girl drew a finger to her lips.

"SHHHHHHH! Kelsi couldn't come today. She's in the hospital. But don't tell Miss R." Tyler's face showed concern.

"Why is she in the hospital?" The piano player plunked a key on the piano angrily.

"Jerk stole my boyfriend." And that was that. Suddenly, loud scary music that sounded vaguely familiar started blasting from speakers. Kelsi-who-was-not-Kelsi wasn't even playing. Two mics were shoved into Tyler and Natalie's hands. They looked at each other. Niether of them knew the song that was playing. It turned out to be a song from "Jonah: A Veggietales Movie". Tyler gulped. Natalie gulped. This did not bode well.

Part 13: A Big Musical Number in which Tyler does not sing

(Author's note: That pretty much says it all. This might be shorter. Although the title is kind of a lie. Well...you'll see what I mean. Anyways, I'm keeping it short cuz I have momentary writer's block. Maybe it's cuz I almost had like a million tons of homework, but I finished it all in study hall. Laaaaaame... And I'm actually practicin' my states right now. That's right. Oh, and I have to memorize "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost today. I better. I'm stalling right now, so if this says, "Posted by Duck at 5:30" or whatever, it's a lie, it's 5:50 right now and I don't want to write. I'd rather practice my states. Actually, you know what, I won't write today. I'll just do a double episode Monday. Sorry. I'm tired.)

Part 12: DON'T LET THE BAD MEN TAKE ME!

(Author's note: I CAN'T FIND A TMNT PICTURE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! And the New York Minute one is taking forever. Yep. This entire episode is going to be totally New York Minute. Hehehe. That should be fun. Just need to find a picture... Several pictures, actually. Two at the least. My leg hurts. :( That can all change...WITH A PARTY HAT! <:) YAY! Darn, why won't this LOAD? "Ladeda, let's be really slow while Lauren tries to please the masses. Hmmm..." Maybe if I make it smaller it’ll load faster…… ARGH!)

Stolen Movie Plot: “New York Minute”, a scene from “Josie and the Pussycats”, and scene from "A New Hope" and kind of from "The Ugly Dachsund"

Special Guest Stars: Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen, Simple Plan…even tho they were already in the show pretty much…and Andy Richter/Benny Bang. Oh, AND Riley Smith, who doesn't get a picture, being a loser.
The limo driver (a very evil Andy Richter with a gay Chinese accent that's not even FUNNY. Sorry, my bad.) gritted his teeth as the annoying blonde girl pushed yet another button, making his seat move forward. Moxie giggled.
"Ooops! Sorry." Natalie pulled out her cellphone yet again, trying to call Tyler. He didn't answer. Moxie took the phone from her friend.
"Honestly, Natalie. Relax. He told us he was fine." Natalie nodded nervously. Benny Bang suddenly stopped the limo and smiled evilly.
"I am kidnapping you. You will not scream." The girls screamed. Benny ignored them and kept driving. Natalie had an idea.
"QUICK! The sun roof! Or whatever it's called..." She searched for the button that would open the top of the limo. Moxie pressed a random button. The sun roof slid open. Natalie gaped at her.
"How did you do that?" Moxie shrugged.
"Just lucky, I guess." They sat on top of the limo's roof. The car was still moving and they didn't want to jump. Moxie shrugged again.
"Maybe some hot guy will see us on his bicycle and try to help us." Natalie stared at her.
"That didn't happen in the movie." But it happened to them. Riley Smith stopped his bike, his mouth wide open.
"JUMP!" He called. Natalie shook her head. He tried to encourage her. "Jump, and maybe you'll get your skirt caught in my bike and I'll rip it to a much shorter, sexier length!" Natalie looked at her legs.
"I'm not wearing a skirt." Moxie grinned.
"I AM!" She leaped from the sun roof, landing in Riley Smith's arms. He smiled down at her.
"So...wanna go out sometime?"
"Excuse me?" Ashley Olsen stood behind Riley, looking offended. "Riley, you're supposed to rip off MY skirt." Riley shrugged.
"I never liked you. She's taller, anyway," He said, jerking his head in Moxie's direction. Both girls glared at him.
"How dare you call me short!"
"How dare you try to shorten my skirt! It's already 3 inches long!"
*SLAP*
*SLAP*
The limo had stopped at a red light, long enough for Moxie to jump out, but just when Natalie got up the courage to jump, the limo started moving again. Natalie knew she had to take a chance. She jumped....and landed in a garbage truck. How, we don't know. Moxie screamed.
"NO!!!! NATALIE! WHO WILL SAVE HER?" The walls were squeezing in on her. Natalie felt like Princess Leia, only without the cinnamon buns and rubber suit. She pushed the walls as hard as she could, wishing they would stop. Suddenly, she heard a dog barking. The walls stopped moving. Natalie breathed a sigh of relief. Then, a voice!
"What's the matter with you, Rufus?" (I forgot the name of the dog from "The Ugly Dachsund". Sorry.) The dog kept barking. Natalie hoisted herself out of the truck, smelling like crap.
"Sorry, I landed in your truck." She turned to the dog, a really big Great Dane. "Thanks for saving my life. Wanna go out some time?" The dog snorted, as if to say, "How dare you!" and bit her hand. The garbage truck man apologized for almost killing her. Well, he was going to, but she smelled so bad he couldn't get close to her without puking. A man and woman ran up. The man grabbed the Great Dane.
"Sorry. Rufus can get out of control." Then he put two and two together, realizing what had happened. "Hey, honey! Rufus just saved that girl from the trash compacter!" Natalie scratched her lip.
"Um....it was a garbage truck."
"Same thing!" His wife shook her head.
"Oh, Fred." (forgot his name, too) They left with Rufus, arguing. Moxie ran up and leaped into Natalie's arms.
"NATALIE! You almost died!" She sniffed the air. "How did you land in a garbage truck? And why do you smell like poop?" Natalie sniffed as she saw the stains in her new jeans and perfect fit tee.
"I think we need to buy new clothes." Moxie groaned.
"Ew, you got your poop smell on me!"
They saw a street vendor selling NY T-shirts (how they ended up in New York, no one knew. Must've been a LONG limo ride.) and skirts. They both both some, using the One Credit Card ("It can't hurt if I only use it once," Natalie had said.). Suddenly, they saw Benny in the crowd. He spotted them.
"You! I see you!" They started running. He ran after them. "Give me back my card!" Natalie gasped. Which she does. ALOT.
"He wants the Card! Well he can't have it!" Moxie grabbed her friend's arm.
"LOOK!" Natalie squinted.
"I don't see anything."
"Didn't you once star as an elf in that one movie with the short hot guy? You should have good vision." Natalie squinted more.
"Hey, I see it now! Simple Plan is having a Video Shoot in Times Square!" Moxie nodded.
"And Times Square is right across the street! Good job. You really need glasses." (I know it wasn't in Times Square. Unless it was. I've seen that movie once. Oh well.) She pulled Natalie across the street. LUCKily, no cars hit them. (*wink wink*) They snuck backstage when one of the sound guys wasn't looking. Natalie looked around. She saw David, Pete, Chuck, Sebastian...but she couldn't see Pierre. Suddenly she gasped and grabbed Moxie's arm.
"MOXIE! Look who's singing!" Moxie looked and recognized the hulking figure on stage.
"NO WAY! That's Tyler...isn't it?" Natalie nodded.
"Let's get closer." She inched past the other screaming fans that had been allowed backstage. Tyler was singing. He sounded good. Despite the fact that he was singing "Vacation". She waved her arms and started screaming.
"TYLER! TYLER OVER HERE!" He apparently didn't here her. But someone else did. Pierre grabbed her and held a toothpick to her throat.
"SHUT UP! You're going to ruin everything." Natalie, not being afraid of the toothpick, whirled to face him.
"Why are you doing this?" Pierre smiled.
"It's all part of my elaborate plan, eh?" Natalie covered her ears.
"NO! You said the word!" Pierre frowned.
"No more Monty Python references. I don't understand them. Now go get your friend and do a crowd dive. Or I'll call Benny and tell him exactly where you are." Natalie gulped.
"You wouldn't." Pierre pulled out a walkie talkie.
"I would. Benny Bang, there?" Natalie smiled nervously.
"You do it's really Andy Richter." Pierre shrugged.
"It's easier to say Benny. Now get out there." Natalie sighed.
"Fine." She turned, found Moxie, and lead her to the front of the stage. Moxie wriggled from her grasp.
"What are we doing?"
"On the count of three, we do a crowd dive."
"WHAT?"
"I'm serious. Start off at a run, then jump, and do a backflip thing...I'm serious, Moxie, do it. One...two...three!" They ran/jumped/flipped off the stage. The crowd was like, "Whoa! Hot babes!" and caught them willingly. Tyler stopped singing when he saw who the two girls were.
"Natalie? Moxie!" Natalie looked up.
"TYLER! We came to find you! I called you, like, a million times!" Tyler frowned.
"Pierre told me you never wanted to see me again!" Natalie gasped.
"That dork!" The crowd managed to get her and Moxie back to the stage. Tyler pulled them up and waved to the crowd.
"Um...bye!" He and the girls ran off the stage. David tried to run after him, but Pierre stopped him.
"No David...it's all right. Everything is going according to plan." He looked over his shoulder at a figure in the shadows.
"Yes," said the shadowy figure. "Everything is going according to your perfectly amazing plan." Elmo stepped out of the shadows and licked his bloody sword. Pierre smiled sympathetically at him.
"You WERE going to get to kill somebody, but I've made a few changes." Elmo gave him a tight smile.
"I'll keep myself busy."
"Just keep the girls alive." Elmo shrugged.
"They can stay alive. It's the boy I want." Pierre shrugged.
"Off you go then." Elmo ran in the direction the trio was headed, yearning for vengeance.

(Eh, plot thickens, blaaaaaaa... Tomorrow: Elmo and Tyler do like a cage match. Minus the cage. And screaming fans.)

Part 11: Temptation = bad...at least...I'm pretty sure...

(Author's note: I'm baaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaack. So Tyler got captured and is forced to sing at a Simple Plan concert while Moxie goes "Hulk angry". Still no movie plot. :( Oh well. This one's going to be kind of short I guess.)

Stolen Movie Plot: none
Special Guest Star: TMNTs! (picture tomorrow)

Natalie started to back away. Moxie's face was getting greener. Suddenly, a tall, semi-hot girl with pointy teeth and scary boots appeared behind Natalie.
"Hey Moxie. What are you doing here?" It was both a question and a statement. Moxie stopped turning green, but didn't look any happier.
"Hello...Ashes," She said venemously. Ashes flashed her a winning smile. Natalie gulped. Her teeth were not normal. She peered closer, but Ashes shut her mouth quickly.
"I just wanted to say hello. I do hope you'll come to the wedding. Garbanzo and I would LOVE to have you there." Moxie's ears perked up at Garbanzo's name.
"Is he here?" Ashes smiled again.
"No, he's...busy, shall we say?" She looked at her watch. "Well, I have to go. I guess I'll...see you later." She walked away somewhat sexily. Moxie watched her enviously. Natalie snapped to attention.
"Oh my gosh...TYLER!" She put the One Credit Card away and pulled out her cellphone. But before she could dial his number, the phone rang. She opened it quickly. "Hello?"
"Um...hey? It's Tyler." It was kind of hard to hear what he was saying, people appeared to be screaming on the other end. "Thanks for rescuing me. I'll go cut my wrists now." Natalie gasped.
"NO Tyler don't go emo, I LOVE YOU!" This sudden outburst caused everyone (including the crowd at the club and at the concert) to go completely silent. Tyler cleared his throat.
"Well...that was weird." Natalie slapped her forehead.
"I didn't mean it like that, I just don't want you to go cut your wrists. And I'm sorry we didn't rescue you, I kind of didn't know you were gone."
"I was being sarcastic. And that makes me feel so much better."
"NO I meant that uh I was looking for you but I didn't realize you were gone until it was...too late." Silence from the other end.
"Uh...yeah. Since I'm actually doing alright, despite being kidnapped and what not, I'll hang up now."
"NO, WAIT-" Dial tone... Natalie stared at her cellphone. "Do cellphones have a dial tone?" She shook her head and put it back in her purse. Moxie could tell what had gone on because, besides never ending luck, that was one of her skills. She nodded knowingly.
"So you broke up with Tyler?" Natalie drew back in horror.
"NO! We were never going out in the first place."
"You bet you weren't." Natalie turned and both she and Moxie gasped (It's a soap, what else can they do?). There stood Elmo, holding a long scary sword, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Leonardo took out his swords.
“You obviously have no honor! Master Splinter says a person without honor is not honorable!” (Don’t get me wrong, I love the turtles, but Leo, my man, GET A GRIP.) Michelangelo scratched his head.
“Dude…Master Splinter never said that.” Raphael grunted as he took out his nun chucks.
“I just wanna fight cuz I have ISSUES!” The TMNT theme song started playing (yes…the one from the 80’s!).
(sorry if I get the words wrong)
Donatello's smart, Raphael's rude,
And Michelangelo's a party duuuude!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Turtles in a half shell.
TURTLE POWER!
Natalie grabbed Moxie and started running away. The TMNT's and Elmo followed, swinging their weapons. Natalie turned and started talking to Elmo...while running backwards...skilled.
"Why are you doing this?" Elmo slashed his sword in the air.
"Why...because I'm a VILLAIN!" He swung at her again. Natalie ducked.
"So if you're trying to kill me...does this mean you've finally grasped that we're over?" Elmo tried to kick her in the chest. He failed.
"No. I was paid to do this. But if you still want go out." Natalie kicked him in the shin.
"No thanks." Then she paused. "By who?"
"NATALIE!" Moxie suddenly screamed. "There's a limo driver outside and he wants to give us a free ride!" (I lied. That was totally "New York Minute") Natalie ran to meet her friend and they hopped in the limo. Elmo and the TMNT's stood there, shaking their fists. Elmo glared at Natalie.
"I WILL FIND YOU!" Natalie exhaled shakily. Moxie kept pressing buttons.
"Oooooh what does this one do? Hey, car phone!" She removed her shoes and wiggled her toes in Natalie's face. "This is gonna be fun." The limo driver, who was American but had a Chinese accent (don't ask), sighed.
"This going to be long ride." (I SWEAR, I'M NOT BEING RACIST, that's how he talked in the movie.)

(SWEEEEET kinda. Tomorrow: Tyler enjoys life as a star, Ashes gets really evil, Garbanzo drinks some tea, and Natalie and Moxie try to find Tyler because we all know Natalie really loves him. Despite the fact that they met like...that day.)

Part 10: Is there a reason my bodyguard's gone missing?

(Author's note: So today I've got back-to-back episodes. Yay. Not. Weeeee... Yesterday...er, two days ago Tyler got kidnapped, bla bla bla.........and now Wilbo's going to do something and they're all gonna dance. Not. I dunno. Thinking of a movie plot.....and I don't have one. Oh well. It shall be possibly not really a tad original...without a movie plot. Hehehe. Actually, I'll have to take a rain check on two episodes. I've already been on for a while.)

Stolen Movie Plot: "Pirates of the Caribbean" reference, and some "LOTR" plot material (there'll be much more as the story progresses), "Hulk" stuff...

Special Guest Star: Will Smith again. He doesn't get a picture.

Natalie was just walking when she saw Wilbo behind a potted plant. She knelt down to talk to him.
"Um...Wilbo? What are you doing?" Wilbo ignored her question.
"Isn't this a great party?"
"Uh, sure, Uncle Wilbo. Have you seen Tyler?" Wilbo frowned.
"Who's Tyler?" He thought a moment. "Oh...isn't he that rude fellow that nice Pete boy was looking for?" Natalie's eyes widened in horror.
"Pete was looking for Tyler?"
"Yes, he was. Would you like a drink?" Natalie grabbed her uncle by the scruff of the neck like a rabbit.
"NO, I DO NOT WANT A DRINK! I WANT to know where Tyler is!!" Wilbo quivered in fear.
"I don't know." Natalie lowered him to the floor.
"Sorry, uncle. Actually, I don't drink, but I'd like to buy you one." She rummaged through her purse. While doing this, the shiny ring she'd received fell to the floor. Bilbo watched it fall. He picked it up and looked at it. Natalie held out her hand.
"May I have my ring back?" Wilbo shrugged.
"Sure." Natalie was surprised. She'd expected resistance and maniacal laughter. Wilbo stared at something in her purse. Natalie looked into it. "What are you staring at?" She saw something glinting and pulled out a very shiny gold credit card. "Wha? This doesn't belong to me!" Wilbo rubbed his hands together greedily.
"Ooooooh...I'd been wondering where that went..." Natalie held it out to him.
"Is this yours?" Wilbo nodded eagerly.
"Yes...yessssss it'sssss mine...my precioussssssss..." He lunged for it. Suddenly, a gunshot rang out. Agent A and the man in the black cloak who'd been stalking Natalie in the mall dropped from the ceiling. Wilbo clutched his heart.
"Hey...I'm not dead!" Then he stared at Agent A. "You SHOT me!" Agent A grinned.
"That's right." Natalie was in shock.
"Is there a reason he's not dead?" Suddenly, Black Cloak man grabbed the ring and ran away laughing. Now Natalie was scared. "WHAT'S GOING ON?" She was on the verge of tears. Agent A put away his gun.
"That man is a certified Lord of the Rings freak. He tried to buy the genuine One Ring from the movie...one of them, at least...but he lost to your uncle...who bought it with..." He paused dramatically. "The One Credit Card." Music from the "The Return of the King" cartoon started playing.
The Bearer of the Ring, the Wearer of the Ring
Some orcs started smashing the speakers to pieces. Agent A shot one. The orcs glared at him.
"We want REAL music!" Another song from the "ROTK" cartoon started playing. The orcs smiled in satisfaction (the song was about them) and scampered away.
Where there's a whip *whip sound* there's a way. Where there's a whip *whip sound* there's a way. Where there's a whip (we don't wanna go to war today!)
Agent A put an arm around Natalie's shoulders and led her away from everybody else, who was dancing to this new strange song. He held up the shiny gold credit card.
"This credit card was made by Elmo 2 months ago in a credit card making factory." Not exactly Tolkien. Natalie blinked.
"Elmo? What does he have to do with this?" Agent A put the credit card in his pocket.
"More than you know. But anyway, this credit card was different because you could buy anything you wanted and never lose any money. The same for anyone who used it. Some said it was magic. But the more you buy, the more this horrible weapon of distruction consumes you." Wilbo ran over, pawing at Agent A's clothes.
"NO!!!!! GIVE ME MY CREDIT CARD!!!! MY PRECIOUSSSS!!!!" He started to cry. Natalie picked up her uncle and gave him to the first person she saw.
"Here...buy him a drink." The random person obliged. Agent A waved goodbye.
"Farewell, Natalie. Here, take care of this credit card. But don't use it." Natalie thought for a moment.
"If you don't want me to use it, why are you giving it to me?" Agent A smiled.
"It's a temptation the viewers of this soap were anticipating, and now the show is better because they know there's a chance you might use it." Natalie paused again.
"Then why are there only 4 people that read this?" Agent A's smile vanished.
"Just keep the card." He did a secret agent thing (which is, of course, secret) and left out a hole in the window. Moxie came over.
"Oh, THERE you are, Natalie. Hey, what's that?" She'd noticed the One Credit Card. Natalie hid it behind her back.
"Um...nothing?" Moxie glared at her. Her skin had a greenish tinge and she looked like she was about to explode.
"You're making me angry...you won't like me when I'm angry."
Camera: *cuts to the frog sitting on top of her head*

* * * *

Tyler awoke to find himself in a garage. There was a Hostess truck parked beside him (*wink wink* Think past episodes). In front of him stood the five members of Simple Plan. Pierre smiled maliciously.

"Ah, I see you're awake." Tyler nodded.

"Yes. I am awake. Now take me back to the club." Pierre laughed evilly.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! You really think I'm going to do that? Noooo...I need you." Tyler rubbed his short hair. Someone had taken his hat.

"You don't need me. You want Moxie. Yeah, that's right, I heard you talking with Pete." Pierre laughed again. The other Simple Plan-ers laughed too.

"You fool. I WANTED you to hear me, so you would THINK I wanted Moxie, which is what Pete thought I wanted, but I need you."

"May I ask why, again?" Pierre shook his head.

"It's all part of my elaborate plan. Now sing for us." Tyler clapped his hands over his mouth and shook his head. Pierre sneered at him.

"Oh, you won't talk, eh?" He motioned to the other guys and they seized Tyler. "Well, then we'll make you sing." They dragged him to a door and opened it, pushing him through. Tyler nearly tripped and found himself on a stage....in front of thousands of screaming fans.

"WE WANT SIMPLE PLAN! WE WANT SIMPLE PLAN! WE WANT SIMPLE PLAN!" Then they saw Tyler. Tyler gulped. This did not bode well.

Can't you just go somewhere on vacation?

Can I just not post today?
Yeah, I don't even really care what you think.
Tomorrow: whatever I said would happen today.
But if tomorrow is today, then today's yesterday will be yesterday's today and the soap opera still won't be done!
Sure it will...
tomorrow.

Part 9: Dance...RIVERdance...

(Author's note: Hey, how was your weekend? Bleh, I'm tired and me don't wanna go to school. But I've said that like...86 times. SO ANYWAYS. I've got a good one for today...kind of. I'm not exactly sure of what I'm going to do. It involves Fall Out Boy and a shocking identity. Or not. That's probably later. And I realized I should've put Joel from Good Charlotte as the special guest for whatever part that was. SORRY JOEL. But anyways. I'm eating a Snickers. <:D Do carry on.)

Stolen Movie Plot: uh...I dunno. Original maybe?
Special Guest Stars: Pierre Bouvier from Simple Plan (sorry his pic’s so tiny!) and Fall Out Boy, but mainly Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy (sorry his pic’s so huge!).


Tyler banged his head against the wall. Wilbo's party was not turning out like he had hoped. For one thing, the short middle-aged man had invited Fall Out Boy to play at the club they were at. Tyler had barely survived a rousing chorus of "Sugar, We're Going Down". Now they were expecting him to get down during "Dance, Dance".
"Well, I'm not going to," he said to no one in particular. "I can't dance." Little did he realize he'd been standing right next to the stage. Pete from Fall Out Boy glared at him.
"What a jerk." He started playing his bass extra loud.
She says she's no good with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out "A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Moxie ran over and jumped on Tyler's shoulders for no particular reason.
"Tyler, isn't this AWESOME?" Tyler groaned in reply. Moxie shook him.
"Hello? How can you not be having fun? I mean, look! THERE'S PETE FROM FALL OUT BOY!" Pete heard her and waved. Moxie screamed. "PETE JUST WAVED AT ME!" Pierre Bouvier, AKA SPIKEY (just PRETENDING to be underage so he might get carded so he might be enlisted by Ashes, all part of his evil elaborate plan...but more on that later), gave Pete the secret signal (and that's basically all the special guest starring he's going to do today, folks). Pete nodded. He jumped off the stage and landed next to Moxie.
"Hey..." He ran his fingers through his hair, since girls seem to find this so attractive. "Um..." Charm seemed to fail him. He didn't know exactly how he was going to talk to this girl. Natalie suddenly came over.
"Hey, Moxie, I've been looking for you." She smiled at Pete. "Hi, we're going to leave, sorry, please leave my best friend alone." The two girls retreated to the bathroom, leaving a very offended Pete (who offered a "What a jerk," in their direction) and very tortured Tyler. Once the bathroom door was closed behind them (blaah this is soooo boring...i guess I lied when I said this would be good -_- *snoring*), Natalie turned to her friend.
"Stay away from Pete, he's a creep." Moxie nodded.
"Okay...you know this how..."
"Like I said...there's a lot of things you don't know about me." Moxie took her best friend's advice to heart and walked out the door. Pete appeared suddenly (ooh, magic).
"Hey." Moxie screamed.
"AAAAH, creep!" She threw someone's drink at him. The drinker looked at his empty hand.
"Didn't I have a drink there...I'm so confused." Pierre glared at Pete from the ceiling.
"You're such a loser, Pete." Pete jumped.
"AAAAAGH!" Then he looked up. "What are you doing up there?"
"Staying away from you." (a la Spiderman) He jumped down. "Now Moxie's not going anywhere with you." Pete ran his fingers through his hair, AGAIN, even tho there were no girls in sight.
"We're in SOOOO much trouble. Ashes is going to kill us." Pierre suddenly smiled.
"Nooo...I have an idea..."

* * * *

Tyler went outside to get away from Fall Out Boy. It was a nice night. The air was cool and fresh and... What was that? He thought. A dark figure had disappeared around the corner. Even tho this was a total "DON'T GO AROUND THAT CORNER" moment, he did it, anyway. And got hit on the head by the dark figure.

(AAAAAAAGH sorry that was so horrible. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow: Wilbo reveals a SECRET and Tyler finds out who his captors REALLY are. Like you don't already know. Or think you know. But I know that you know that I know I don't. And you don't either. Hahahaha.)