Part 28: Confusing conversations ensued

(Author’s note: HEEEEY! LOUDER LOUDER! Sorry, listening to Ugly Duckling, one of the best white boy bands ever. Only they rap. So I guess they’re not a band. Whatever. BUT ANYWAYS. I totally decided to start writing the soaps the day before. That just made no sense and I think that was bad grammar. Example: For Monday’s soap, I’ll just write it TODAY, on Sunday. So for every day it’s needed, I’ll write it a day earlier. Yay. So on Friday, or Saturday, whatever, LAST WEEK, I totally killed off Victor Crumb and stuff and now Dole and Krillin are going to meet the person that could, and I quote, “totally save their butts”. And then Moxie will mourn for Vicky and Chad…WILL BE ON ONE TREE HILL! Oh, and we have a NEW CHARACTER JOINING OUR STAFF! Wow, I’ve noticed whenever I kill of someone ((all of the two times I’ve done that :P)), I just add a new character. And our new character is…PUSS IN CONVERSE! GIVE HIM A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE EVERYBODY! And do NOT make fun of my paint picture. That took me FOREVER to do. Wow. What a long author’s note. STALLER!)

Stolen Movie Plot: “Shrek 2”…yet again. But there’s a good reason for it…besides having Puss in Converse join the cast

New Character: PUSS IN CONVERSE, EVERYBODY! And Chad Micheal Murray will be with us for an extended period, then leave. And I already posted a picture of him, so he doesn’t get another one.

Special Guest Stars: Oprah

Puss in Converse held his gangsta hat in orange paws and started singing a dirge. “FEEEEEELINGS! EVERYBODY’S GOT FEEEELINGS!” Moxie glared at him over her shoulder so he decided to sing something a little happier. “AND I SO HATE CONSEQUENCES, RUNNING FROM YOU IS WHAT MY BEST DEFENSE IS,” Spirit joined in on the “whoa”. “WHOAAAAAAAA! CONSEQUENCES! GOT TO MAKE ME FACE UP TO THIS!” Natalie slapped Puss with his hat.
“Can’t you see she’s mourning?” Puss smiled feebly.
“Sorry.” Suddenly, Victor stirred. Chad shooed away the crowd that had gathered to stare at the sexy Bulgarian prince’s body.
“Show’s over, people, he’s alive.” There were a few groans of disappointment, but the crowd left nonetheless. Moxie squealed with excitement.
“Victor! You’re ALIVE!” Then she remembered she was mad at him and turned away. Victor rubbed his nearly hairless scalp (I KNOW HE’S NOT BALD, BUT WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?).
“Where am I?” He asked in a British accent. Everyone stared at him. Spirit coughed.
“Uh…dude? What happened to that annoying habit of yours? You know,” He added, seeing Victor’s confused look. “The one where you replaced your w’s with v’s?” Victor nodded slowly.
“Right…nope, sorry, my good fellow.” He slapped a hand over his mouth. Everyone continued to stare at him. “I mean…vhat are you talking about?” Puss in Converse peered closely at him.
“Are you sure you are really Victor? Because I have guarded him for 9 years (a very feeble attempt at a joke, I know) of my life and you act nothing like him.” Natalie noticed something else was missing.
“Hey…where’s Major Pepperidge?” The lovable black cat was nowhere to be seen on Victor’s left shoulder. Victor scratched his scalp quite rapidly.
“Um…he, um, left.” Natalie cocked an eyebrow (WHY IS EVERYONE COCKING? COCKING EYEBROWS, COCKING HEADS, COCKING PISTOLS…).
“Really? Just…left?” Victor nodded excitedly.
“Uh-huh. He was just so excited to see his…um, family?” He sounded rather uncertain. And he was still speaking with a British accent. Moxie shot all of her friends a fierce look.
“All of you just drop it. This is Victor, no doubt about it.” She offered him her hand and helped him to his feet. “We’re going to go get something to eat.” Spirit snorted (hey, he’s a horse).
“Dude, you just ate. And what about that really annoying baby? NOT LIKE I WANT HIM BACK OR ANYTHING!” He added frantically. Moxie ignored him and continued on her way, dragging Victor behind her. There was an awkward silence (another word I use a lot. Awkward). Chad cleared his throat.
“Hey, uh, Natalie? You know that dance you were invited to tonight?” Natalie racked her brain.
“Yeah…but how did you know about that?” Chad, surprisingly, refrained from using “cuz I’m one ‘One Tree Hill’” comeback.
“Well, uh…” Puss smiled craftily.
“Aha…could it be that you, pretty boy, are in fact Natalie’s stalker?” Natalie shot the orange kittycat a surprised look.
“Wait, how did YOU know that? Hello? How come people aren’t telling me these things?” Everyone seemed to be ignoring Natalie, including Spirit, who was staring at a “Dreamer” movie poster.
“Hello…look at those flanks…” Natalie rolled her eyes.
“Boys.” Chad was looking mighty nervous, as Puss had taken out his sword and was pointing it at the pretty boy’s chest.
“Dude, I swear, it wasn’t me. And I’m not even lying this time!” Spirit looked up, finally interested.
“This time? What do you mean by that, huh, punk?” Chad gulped.
“Um, Puss and I are QUITE familiar with each other.” Natalie tried to work this out.
“Wait…so you’re stalking Victor? By the way, what’s wrong with him, Puss? When did he get all British?” Puss put away his sword.
“I know not.” He paused. “SNORG! Now I sound British!!” Spirit attempted raising one eyebrow. Only that’s a little hard for horses to do. So he didn’t raise any at all.
“Snorg? Is that even a word?” The author sneered and had the illustrator start erasing Spirit, who apologized quickly. Then she left the others in this completely pointless scene and decided to follow Moxie and British-Victor.

* * * *
Dole nudged Krillin anxiously. “Do you see her?” Krillin sighed in exasperation and put down the binoculars he’d been using.
“No, Dole. I’ve been searching for all of 20 seconds and I can’t seem to find who we’re looking for. I’m terribly sorry.” Dole seemed oblivious to his twin’s sarcasm. Suddenly, he pointed gleefully.
“THERE SHE IS!” There she was, indeed. Oprah Winfrey stood in front of Forever 21, wondering if she should go in or not. If they wouldn’t let her, she’d just make an episode on her show about how unfair and biased clothing stores were. Unfortunately, Dole got to her first.
“MISS WINFREY! IT’S AN HONOR TO MEET YOU!” Oprah looked down disgustedly. She hated children.
“Whaddya want, kid?” Dole flinched, very taken aback.
“Wow, Miss O, you’re not NEARLY as nice as you are on TV!” Oprah waved him off.
“Go away, kid. I’m BUSY.” Krillin came and tapped his brother on the shoulder.
“What the heck are you doing, Dole?” Dole gestured to Oprah.
“DUH! Talking to the person who could totally save our butts!” Krillin took a deep breath and looked to the ceiling, as if praying for patience, and pointed in the opposite direction.
“My poor misguided twin…the person who could totally save our butts is over THERE.” Moxie, who had been walking quite fast with a miserable Victor, stopped. They were talking about her. The boys ran to her and leaped into her arms. She staggered under the weight of two, however short, 13-year-old boys.
“Hey, boys.” Krillin hugged her neck, choking her.
“MOXIE! You have no idea how much we’ve missed you!” Dole squeezed her middle-section, nearly severing her in half.
“YEAH! And Dad’s marrying your twin sister, who’s a total…um, witch.” He said after getting several nasty looks from his brother, Moxie, and the No Swearing Department. Moxie eased the boys to the ground and sighed.
“I know. And there’s nothing I can do about it.” The twins looked at her pleadingly.
“Pleaaaaase help us?” But Moxie shook her head.
“It would be a futile effort, boys.” Nobody noticed, but Victor was smiling while the others looked resigned. Everything was going according to plan.

* * * *

Far away in a castle somewhere, Ashes paced back in front of Sean Preston, Major Pepperidge, and the REAL Victor Crumb, who was really TOed, but couldn’t do anything about it. Sean was still as bubbly as ever.
“Say, where’s Real Daddy?” Ashes turned on the annoying baby and spat at him. Sean didn’t mind the spittle.
“FOOL! Your REAL daddy, Dumbledore, does not EXIST!” Sean smiled even wider.
“Sure he does. I just saw him at the mall.” Ashes grabbed her hair.
“That was ME, you moron! I was the one that took you away from your STUPID friends!” Victor’s face contorted with rage.
“DON’T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT MOXIE!” Major Pepperidge shook his head.
“My friend, you need to look at the finer aspects of life. Too much anger can affect you like a glass of Skittle juice mixed with salt.” Victor screamed in frustration. Ashes rolled her eyes.
“Oh yes, my CHARMING sister. She won’t miss you much, seeing as I have my replacement with her right now. Only I’d forgotten you’d grown another head. No matter. Would you like to see them?” Without waiting for an answer, she conjured a mirror out of nowhere and held it up to show Moxie with the fake Victor and Garbanzo’s two sons. Victor’s eyes widened in shock.
“Vhat? No! MOXIE! MOXIE! MO-XIE!” But she couldn’t hear him. Ashes laughed and started mocking him.
“MOXIE MOXIE! Nope, she can’t hear you. I don’t think she even knows the Victor she’s with is not the real Victor.” Sean Preston yawned and rubbed his eyes.
“Don’t worry, Daddy. Everything will turn out right. Just like Natalie’s premonition.” Everyone stared at him. Ashes leaned forward interestedly.
“Premonitions? What premonitions?”
(Oooh boy. Wow. That was REALLY long. Oh well. Cool. NO LONGER HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK! Sooo… Tomorrow: Sean reveals astonishing knowledge, Victor tries to escape and there’s even MORE Shrek 2 plot! And Natalie goes to the DANCE in that awesome dress that I WANT TO WEAR FOR HOMECOMING…in like…2 YEARS!)

Part 27: ACTION!!!!!

(Author's note: I KNOW it's a weekend, but I've been posting like...weekly and I wanted to get at least two posts in today. It's because I haven't had a whole lot of time this week. And I decided to play Legacy this morning, which was a disaster AAAAAAAAAGH cuz I had all my horses 100% and I still didn't get my letter! Snorg. So I'll try to think of something.)

Stolen Movie Plot: None

Special Guest Stars: John Heder, Antonio Banderas
Dumbledore conjured up a baby backpack and slipped Sean in it. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to leave." Natalie froze. Spirit glanced sideways at her.
"Um...are you okay?" Natalie didn't answer. (PREMONITION TIME BABY!) She was having another premonition.

PREMONITION START:
Britney Spears lay on a cot and weakly raised her head.
"Moxie?" Moxie took her hand.
"Yes? Yes?" Britney laid her head back down and smiled contentedly.
"I want you to take care of my kids for me..."
"You only have one kid, Britney...in this story, anyways." Britney rolled her eyes.
"Duh, I was referring to K-Fed!" Moxie laughed.
"Of...DUH!" Then she frowned. "You're not going to die, are you, Britney?" Britney laughed.
"No. I'd just rather be a slutty pop star!" She got up and rolled her top up, revealing a shiny belly button ring, and walked away. Moxie snapped her fingers.
"Shoot." Sean Preston toddled towards her.
"Hey, Mommy. What's cooking?"
IF YOU KEEP THE BABY ALIVE, GOOD STUFF WILL HAPPEN.

Natalie blinked away tears that were fast approaching. Dumbledore lowered his wand slightly.
"What's her problem?" He asked Spirit.
“She’s having a premonition. It happens frequently,” said Moxie. The wizard and brawny stallion stared at her.
“Where have you been?” Moxie waved the question away and crossed her arms over her chest. Natalie was crying silently. And talking to herself, since no one had asked her what was wrong.
“I had a premonition when Tyler and I were doing that audition together. It said that if we tried out, we would not only get the part, but save the world. And now…NOW HE’S DEAD!” Moxie was not feeling at all sympathetic for her best friend.
“Get a grip. You know, you are ALWAYS feeling sorry for yourself. You should be a little more grateful. You have a stalker who’s DEAD SEXY, even though you’ve never met or seen him, and you have me, Sean, Spirit, and…” She stopped herself before she could say Victor. “And now you’re just feeling sorry for yourself again.” Everyone ignored this helpful little speech (cough cough) and was still staring at the sobbing Natalie. Natalie sniffed.
“I just don’t know what I should do!” Napoleon Dynamite walked up and patted her on the back.
“Just listen to your heart. That’s what I do.” Dumbledore had been backing away, eager to make a sneaky escape (hehe…sneaky), when Sean blurted out, “Where are we going, real Daddy?” Everyone turned to stare at Dumbledore. Dumbledore waved in a weakly.
“It has been delightful…but I must go now.” He dashed away.” Moxie’s brow furrowed and she leaped onto Spirit’s back, urging him forward.
“YOU! OLD WIZARD MAN! GET BACK HERE WITH MY BABY!” Even though, technically, it wasn’t really HER baby. Puss in Converse (HAHA! DOCTOR PEPPER! TASTE OF ORIGINALITY!) leaped up behind her and held onto her shirt with his claws. Napoleon started clapping while Natalie watched in horror (if there is such a thing). Mall security observed the gorgeous (COUGH COUGH) blonde riding the incredibly manly stallion and reached for their walkie talkies.)
“This is Doughnut Muncher, calling Backstreet Boy 90210,” (some security guards take their jobs way too seriously). “We’ve got a situation here by the Cinnabon, I’m gonna need some backup.” Security guards started appearing out of no where: from behind the counter of the Cinnabon, out from under tables, dropping from the ceiling. The all started chasing after Moxie and Spirit (and Puss in Converse!). Puss glared at them and dropped from the horse’s back. Moxie swiveled around.
“PUSS!” She cried in anguish. Puss drew his sword.
“Go! You have saved my life. Now…I repay my debt.” Natalie’s open mouth grew even wider.
“Moxie? You know this guy?” Moxie glowered at the brunette heroine.
“We used to date,” she said uber-sarcastically. Dumbledore was getting away. She kicked Spirit and he surged forward confidently, leaping over a couple of purple-haired youths, who gazed at him in awe.
“Whoa…we should TOTALLY try that move with our boards!” “Right on, dude!” They ran to retrieve their skateboards. Meanwhile, Puss in Converse was bravely facing the mall security. He had his gangsta cap in his paws and was giving the guards a pleading look, his green eyes wide and adorable. The guards stopped and sighed.
“Awwwwww…” Puss grinned and leaped on one man’s back, scratching his uniform to pieces. Napoleon was doing his famous dance on the table, distracting most of them, who were greatly impressed.
Dumbledore turned the corner and smiled proudly. Yes! He thought. There’s the exit. There’s no stopping me now! But he was wrong. At the last minute, an innocent bystander leaped and placed himself directly in front of the great wizard. Dumbledore screeched to a halt. So did Spirit. Moxie’s baby blues widened in shock. This was no innocent bystander.
“CHAD MICHEAL MURRAY?” Chad tilted his chin manly-like.
“I’m on One Tree Hill.” He said, like we all didn’t know that. Dumbledore sneered in annoyance.
“You won’t be after this.” He raised his wand. “AVADA KEDAVRA!” A green burst of light shot from the straight wooden tool. All the girls in the mall gasped. But only one person was brave enough to leap in front of the clueless pretty boy. That person absorbed the full effect of the curse and gave a wookiee call before falling to the ground, lying absolutely still. Dumbledore didn’t bat an eye.
“Well then. I guess we’ll go, huh, Sean?” Sean had no idea what was going on. Dumbledore stepped over the body, shoved Chad out of the way, and walked calmly out the door. The mall was silent. Puss and the security guards had stopped fighting. Napoleon had stopped dancing. Moxie slid off Spirit and walked over to the body. When she saw who it was, she screamed.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!” Her desperate cry was not unlike Natalie’s when Tyler hand had slipped from her grasp and he had fallen forever into the black abyss of DEATH. Only the dead man wasn’t Tyler. It was, in fact, none other than the Prince of Bulgaria himself, Victor Crumb.

(I DID IT! I KILLED SOMEONE ELSE! Not that I’m proud of it or anything. Monday: Dole and Krillin meet face to face with their almost-savior ((even tho I hate the term savior because it’s been used for total losers and it’s like, “Did you just compare them to Jesus?”)), Moxie grieves, Chad reveals a secret ((that I’m sure you all hadn’t figured out all ready. *rolls eyes*)) and we get a NEW CHARACTER! WOW! MONDAY IS PACKED!)

Part 26: You! Back away from my BOYFRIEND.

(AAAAAAAAAAAGH I was at a volleyball game and I had to play with the band. GRR it took forever and we lost. :( I HATE THE OTHER TEAM! Surprising: Yelling "Hilary Duff" will actually cause either team to gain a point. Yeah, so yesterday Victor grew another head and Dole and Krillin are trying to save themselves from Ashes and her devious wedding plans. Now Victor is going to reveal a SHOCKING SECRET!!!!!!!)

Stolen Movie Plot: "THE PRINCE AND ME", and "Beauty and the Beast"

Special Guest Star: Julia Stiles, I'm too lazy to put up a picture...and Heidi Klum

Moxie ran wildly about the mall, searching for the two-headed Bulgarian.
"Victor?" She called.
"I am hiding in outside the girl's bathroom," A quiet voice answered. Moxie headed for the girl's bathroom and found Victor slumped against the wall. He looked at her through tearfilled eyes.
"How did you find me?" Moxie stared at him, open mouthed, then moved on.
"Victor...I'm sorry about Major Pepperidge." Major Pepperidge smiled good naturedly.
"There's nothing wrong with having two heads, like there's nothing wrong with a pig having four second cousins." Victor grunted in frustration.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" He seemed on the verge of tears again. Moxie stood there, feeling (WHERE'S MY THESAURUS) *sigh* awkward.
"Victor, no one cares that you have a second head." Victor shook his real head.
"No, you don't understand." Moxie cocked her head.
"What don't I understand?" Victor took a deep breath.
"Well..."

FLASHBACK!!!!!

Victor opened the heavy wooden door and found an old woman lying on the step.
"Please, sir. It's so cold. And I have an entire family. My son, he is sick, and I haven't eaten in three days." Victor sneered at the woman, appalled at her scruffy clothes and wrinkly face. Not only that, she smelled like poop (Igloo...).
"You vish. Please go avay. I have much more important things to do." The woman suddenly turned into a hot supermodel. Victor gasped and fell at her feet, grovelling.
"OH! MISS KLUM! I DIDN'T KNOW!" Heidi Klum shook her head, gaudy earrings jiggling slightly.
"You have failed the test. Be warned: When you find a hot girl, you will grow a second head that will only go away if you learn...how to get rid of it. And no, it can't be cut off." Victor sobbed mournfully.

END OF FLASHBACK!!!

Moxie was still confused, so Victor summarized for her.
"I'm really a prince, and this head is here because..." He didn't finish his sentence. Moxie nodded.
"Oh, well, that's understandable WHAT???" Victor cringed. "YOU'RE A PRINCE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME????" She stalked off. Victor still sat there, feeling depressed. Major Pepperidge nudged him.
"It's all right, brotha. At least you two didn't make out in the library." Julia Stiles came out of the bathroom and heard the last remark.
"Hey," she said, scowling. "I resent that."

(Sorry it was short, but my mom got pizza. Tomorrow: STUFF!)

Part 25: Major Pepperidge, bubbity-boo

(Author's note: so HEHEHE I'm kind of a liar. Well, I never really got around to posting last night, I played Maaaariooo, then I went to the liibraryyyy, then I had to practice and go to youth group... So yeah. And then TODAY I went with Toni and Kelsey to see her puppies and they had pooped all over the floor and Kelsey and I were cracking up and then my internet wasn't working...so here I am....*smiles deviously* IT'S THREE AM, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN! Hehehe, Stellar Kart. Okay, okay, enough stalling. Okay, so LAST WEEK there was that REALLY dumb HP scene. I'm going to make it all a dream. Okay? Okay. BTW, that's Natalie's dress... The one that isn't pink that I've been searching foooor. OOOH, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL/MARY-KATE AUDITION SONG!)

Stolen Movie Plot: Er, um...

Special Guest Star: Major Pepperidge, bubbity boo. Oh yeah, and that Dumbledore guy. Whatever his name is.

Victor woke with a start. It appeared he had fallen asleep while the others were debating whether or not it was possible that Dumbledore was really Sean's father. Moxie shook him slightly.
"Are you awake?" Victor snapped to attention.
"Of course I'm avake." Moxie didn't look convinced, so he decided to go with the honest answer (good boy). "I fell asleep and had a horrible dream about the Tri-Vizard Tournament and ve vere fighting dragons. Then James Brown started singing and ve all thought it was Elton John." Moxie blinked.
"Wow. There is more going on in your mind then I thought." Victor felt a sudden pain in his neck.
"OUCH!" He slapped the spot that hurt. "There appears to be a vart on my neck."
"TMI, Victor." They looked up. Everybody had stopped talking and was looking at them. Victor waved.
"Hello, everyone." The pain was getting worse. He plucked a scarf out of thin air and wrapped it around his manly neck. (I DIDN'T WRITE THAT! I DID NOT WRITE THAT!) The scarf bulged...and out popped...
A...
second...
HEAD!!!!!!
"I'm Major Pepperidge," said the head, which didn't resemble Victor at all, but looked a lot like Mr. Blik from "Catscratch". (MR. BLIK!!!!!!) "Bubbity boo." Victor burst into shameful tears and ran from the Cinnabon. Natalie nodded slowly.
"Wow...you don't see that everyday..." Sean Preston bounced in Dumbledore's arms.
"Let's go home, really Daddy." Dumbledore caught Sean before he bounced to the ground.
"All right. Thank you all very much for bringing me and my son back together. I must go now." Natalie stepped in front of the (um...) OLD (readers: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!) wizard.
"Wait just a minute...you have a lot of explaining to do..." Dumbledore looked around.
"Uh..." He took out his wand and pointed it at Moxie. "OUT OF MY WAY OR I'LL KILL YOUR FRIEND!" Spirit spoke for the first time in a long time.
"Um...what are you pointing at?" Everyone looked. Moxie wasn't there.

* * * *

(now for something completely different)
Dole and Krillin gazed dolefully at the large pile of invitations and envelopes that lay before them. Ashes smiled cheerily.
"All right, boys. Get to work! And when you've finished sending these invitations to the entire population, you can start with making our 4,000,000 pound wedding cake!" Dole looked at her sadly.
"But four babies are born every second...how are we supposed to invite the entire population to your wedding?" Ashes thought about that.
"Well, you'll have to invite them too." The twins groaned.
"We'll NEVER send all these invitations!" Ashes grinned evilly.
"That's the point." She walked away. There was a little spring in her step that came from torturing her fiancee's children. Krillin smiled when she was gone.
"Hehehe...she forgot two people DIE every second. So we only need to do this for half the time of forever! Wait..." He realized what he had said didn't make any sense. The two started working on the invitations. Dole picked up one, read it, and looked at it as if it were a dead fish. (I'm offended...I happen to like dead fish. SORRY, I'm just the author, SHUTTING UP!)
"GROSS! Cruella invited Hillary Clinton to the wedding." Krillin rolled his eyes.
"Dole, you think anyone political is gross. You shy away from politics." Dole waited for him to get to the point. Krillin rolled his eyes again. Suddenly, he brightened.
"Hey, look at this invitation!" Dole read it and seemed unimpressed.
"So?"
"So? SO? This person could TOTALLY save our butts!" (The use of the word "butt" is totally the fault of the evil twins who play Dole and Krillin, not the author) He threw the invitation away and started writing something on a piece of paper. Dole looked somewhat interested.
"What are you going to do?" Krillin smiled.
"You'll see..."

(Oooh, THE PLOT THICKENS. LOl, I bet if you put that on blogger search for just this blog, it would have that in like every post. Whenever: Victor reveals a shocking secret, even shockinger than a second head, and stuff.)

Coming soon to a Monitor near you!

I SHALL BE POSTING TODAY!!!!
EVEN THO IT IS A WEEKEND!!!!!
AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'M GOING TO WRITE!!!!!
JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW!!!!!!!

Part 24: w00t w00t!!! Four Fabulous...um...fguest fstars! ALLITERATION!

(Author's note: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY what's up, I'm actually WRITING today? I went all Mad-Eye Moody and thought someone poisoned my sandwhich. *shrug* OH WELL. I'm eating it now with mozzerella. Ew, not that gross natural stuff, it has to be processed or I won't eat it. GIVE ME FAKE FOOD OR GIVE ME DEATH! Yeah! So um...however long ago I wrote...Moxie and Victor find they've gone on a useless quest and that Dumbledore is really Sean Preston's dad and I'm stalling cuz I don't want to do the little Cinderella story sequence. LAME. Trying to be exceedingly witty...NOT WORKING! I'll try to pull something off today.)

Stolen Movie Plot: Uh...............I really don't know. SHOCKER THERE! Not my fault, I met yet ANOTHER TYLER! And Tyler was being Hobo Man today. Emotionally distressing is what it is. OMG I'M SO DOING A HARRY POTTER FILM FOR THE HECK OF IT!

Special Guest Stars: Here we have them...FEAST YOUR EYES!

Ralph Fiennes (sorry, it's just that I saw this Voldemort votes Republican banner and it wouldn't be fair unless I made one of my own.)
Richard Harris (I know he's dead, but he's better than the other Dumbledore)
Dang, I can't find a picture of Wayne Knight as "Mr. Blik", even tho I was hoping for Major Pepperidge...bubbity boo. And we also have (no pictures cuz I'm busy) Jackie Chan, and Swedish Chef (from the Muppets)

Everyone continued to stare at the squirmy baby. Dumbledore coughed.

"Well...this is awkward." Victor was staring at the child that minutes before had called him "daddy".

"Yes...very awkvard." Glinda smiled USING AN ADJECTIVE OTHER THAN AWKWARD!!!-ly.

"I guess that means your quest is done." Sean Preston was waiting impatiently for Dumbledore to pick him up. Dumbledore took the baby gingerly.

"Well, I shall see you all. But first...you must pick your dragons." The trio jumped.

"What dragons?" Natalie raised an eyebrow suspiciously. (WHAT'S WITH ALL THE ADVERBS?)

"This sounds a lot like something out of a Harry Potter movie." Dumbledore shrugged.

"Hey, I don't write the episodes, I just star in them." Moxie looked around.

"Weren't there four competitors in the book? I mean...movie." She added, hoping to avoid the proud director's wrath. Fireworks started going off. James Brown started singing like in that one Rocky movie. Victor perked up.

"Apollo Creed?" Suddenly, James Brown was replaced by Lion King music. Natalie screamed and covered her eyes.

"IT'S ELTON JOHN!!!!!" A dark figure stepped through the fog in the fog machine. All three of them screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lord Voldemort appeared in front of them, smiling like he always does so he looks like a piece of poo. He grinned pooishly.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone standing in front of the Cinnabon breathed a sigh of relief. Moxie spoke first.

"Oh, thank goodness. We thought it was someone REALLY scary!" Voldemort did not look impressed.

"What are you talking abou- Awww, COME ON!" He turned to look at James Brown and Elton John. "Am I really not that scary?" The two music legends looked at each other and started laughing. Voldemort hung his head in defeat. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"If you would all pay attention and please take part in the useless and unnecessary scene the author added just cuz she didn't want to think of some more PLOT..." Everyone snapped to attention. Dumbledore held out a velvet bag Sean had been trying to play with. "Take one." Victor dove into the bag greedily and pulled out...

"Aw, I get the Chinese Fireball." Moxie picked the Swedish one. (I'm low on HP knowledge). Voldie got the Welsh one. Natalie groaned.

"That leaves the Hungarian Horntail." The four champions looked around.

"So where are the dragons?"

"HIYAAAAAAAAA!" Jackie Chan popped out of nowhere, holding nunchucks. Victor hid behind Moxie.

"AAAAAAAAGH! What are you doing here?" Jackie rolled his eyes.

"Duh...I'm a Chinese Fireball." Victor nodded.

"Riiiiiiiiight..." A great fight ensued.

(WOW THAT WAS LIKE WORST STORY OF ALL TIME!!!!!! YAAAAAY ME! Not even worth reading. Blah. THERE GOES MY CAREER! DOWN THE DRAIN! Oh well, I could always be a teacher. *bleh* NOT! Tomorrow: WHO WINS? Dance, maybe. I DON'T KNOW!)

Liar liar

Yeah. Today is a Monday. A week day.
And I'm not posting.
Ooh, big shocker there. But I spent all day reading Harry Potter 5 (AND finished it), so I'm not going to have time. But I will post tomorrow. And there's gonna be a lot of guest stars. Like...four. And we shall discuss the Dark Lord's political party.

Part 23: DANCE! I don't know how to dance! I TANGO!

(Author's note: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I'm actually going to write today. I've got good ideas for the future, but I have no idea if I can get my writing going in that direction. "Krum...Krum...Krum..." Don't ask. Mrs. Schultz-Story gave me Twix. YAAAAAAY! She is the bomb. But it was a baby one. :( Not big enough. Um...like two days ago or whatever, Natalie met Chad Micheal Murray, she's getting stalked, dance, Cinnabon, Spirit, Love liberty disco. so COOL!)

Stolen Movie Plot: "Cinderella Story", if I get around to it...uh...*searches pluggedinonline for a good movie despite their suuustinky reviews* I reAAAAAAAAAlly don't know. Feed my fish. "THE WIZARD OF OZ" yeaya!!!!!!

Moxie gave SP a bit more frosting while she thought. Finally, she said, "Victor?"
"Vhat?"
"Spirit is from the Cinnabon, right?"
"Right..."
"And what was our quest?"
"To take Sean to Dumbledore."
"And first we needed to get Spirit Stallion of the Cinnabon."
"Yes."
"Who resides in the Cinnabon."
"Correct."
"We HAVE Spirit. So what are we doing in the Cinnabon!!!???" Victor held up his hand.
"Vait, I'm still trying to figure that out." Moxie put her head in her hands.
"We are such morons." SP was smiling.
"You're not a moron, Mommy, you're the bestest mommy ever." Moxie held him at arm's length and looked at him rather disgustedly.
"If you're going to call me Mommy, you're never allowed to say bestest ever again." Victor nodded.
"And you can't call me Daddy." Sean's lower lip began to quiver. "ALL RIGHT! You may call me Daddy...if you give me a dollar." Sean gave him $5. Victor stared at the money in his open palm.
"Holy cow...vhere did you get this money?" Sean shrugged his tiny baby shoulders.
"Off of you. You do seem to have a lot of that green stuff. Where'd YOU get it, Daddy?"

(My writing stinks today, SORRY)

Natalie practically floated back to the others, a smile on her face.

"GOOD afternoon, everyone! How are you? Did you save me a cinnamon roll?" Sean burbled at her.

"HELLO, Natalie. Daddy's rich and can buy you one." Victor put his finger in the baby's mouth.

"Shut up." Natalie ignored both of them.

"I have to be at a dance tonight, so I'm going dress shopping. Moxie, do we still have Tyler's dead dad's wallet?" Moxie stared openmouthed at her friend.

"You didn't burst into tears just saying his name. Something must be wrong with you." Natalie was all smiles.

"What are you talking about? I feel GREAT." Sean refused to shut up.

"Natalie, Daddy could buy you a nice dress with all the money he has." Victor looked mad.

"SHUT UP!" Moxie took the baby from him.

"Duh, child abuse is soooo illegal." Spirit came out from behind the Cinnabon counter with stripes of icing all over his body. He looked a little mad.

"I hate interns. Natalie, there's someone to see you. She said her name was like Glenda or something like that." Natalie gasped.

"GWEN STEFANI?"

"No. I remember what it was. It was Glinda the Good Witch." Natalie looked disappointed. Glinda the Good Witch appeared (she doesn't get to be a special guest star).

"Hello, Natalie. Now that you've killed the Wicked Witch of the West, you get to go to a ball." Natalie blinked.

"But I haven't killed any witch, and I'm not surrounded by midgets or going to a ball. Man, this story is so messed up." Glinda snapped her fingers.

"Um, no matter. You get to go to a ball anyways!" Moxie rolled her eyes.

"It's a dance, not a ball. And it's for Halloween."

"Dang!" Natalie cried. "That means I can't wear a dress! I actually have to wear a costume!" Glinda thought for a moment.

"You could dress up as a princess..." Natalie waved her away.

"That is like sooooo Hillary Duff. Girl Halloween costumes consist of lingerie and animal ears." A la Mean Girls. Glinda was looking mad.

"I went to the Smithsonian to let you borrow this dress and it took me forever-" "Your dress is kept in the Smithsonian? I thought that was Dorothy's Magic Slippers or whatever!" "SHUT UP! YOU'RE WEARING THIS DRESS!!!!!" Victor stood in front of Natalie and did a weird brotherly protective dance. (HP QUOTE HPPPPPPPP QUOTE!)

"You have no business here! This table is for champions...and FRIENDS!" (HAHAHHAHAHA HP QUOTE!!!!!!!!) Glinda shrugged.

"I was just leaving." She turned to leave. Dumbledore suddenly walked up with Barty Crouch and a few other wizards.

"Hello, Victor. And...what are you doing here, Sean?" Sean held his arms out.

"My REAL daddy!" Everyone fell completely silent.

(that STUNK. I don't know what my problem is. Maaaarg. Tomorrow: shocking stuff GASP>)

Part 23: I have no idea.

(Author's note: Seriously. I have no plan whatsoever for today. I don't even really want to WRITE seeing as I have piano in...two hours. So I shall be stupid YET AGAIN and not write. MWAHAHAHA. But seriously, yesterday I had no time, I got home at 4:00 and watched...Harry Potter...)

Uh...sorry

Yeah, totally can't post today, but here's Natalie's dress.

Part 22: Pretty pony wants to play.

(Author's note: HAHAHAHA I finally found the perfect Spirit picture! You can't hide them from me! MWAHAHAHA! Yeah, I was kind of going for proud and very magestic...but Old Faithful got in the picture. DARNIT. Yeah, Old Faithful, that's the name of the eagle. At least what I call him. And then the three Indian horses ((who I realized actually grew up with Spirit cuz in the first part of the movie they were all in the herd with them? Wha??????)) were Blue Circle, Hoofbeats, and...BUT ENOUGH ABOUT HORSES! Whoa who knew homecoming was on Saturday? Carazy. There's gonna be some beef involved in this story. So cool. Let's get this started, shall we?)

Stolen Movie Plot: "Willow" and "Cinderella Story"

Special Guest Stars: The horse from "Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron" and Chad Micheal Murray (I posted a picture yesterday) and that chick from "Willow" that I could not find a picture of...Maria Holvoe, that's the one



Moxie awoke with a scream. It felt like thousands of tiny little knives were poking into her body. Which, ironically, they were. She looked down to see at least a dozen brownies (for those who are not obsessed with the movie "Willow" or don't read enough fantasy, brownies are short, and I mean short, like 1 inch freaks that are magical and stuffs? In this soap, they are kind of scary and can be bald and they wear fur caps. Oh yeah, and they have French accents.)
"Hey!" She cried indignantly. "Stop poking me!" The midgets screamed and ran away. Moxie nodded.
"That was easy..." A bright orb of light appeared, momentarily blinding her. The orb faded gradually.
"Sorry," It said. "That happens a lot." Moxie groaned.
"I'm talking to an orb."
"What? I'm not an orb. I'm a star. Dur, there's a difference."
"Of course. Hey, where's Natalie?" Moxie looked at her surroundings. She was in a forest (a very foresty forest. I hate describing forests. "Um...it was green?") and it was green (-_-). And leafy. And stuff. The French midgets/brownies were no where to be seen, but Natalie was laying right next to her. She was either dead or sleeping. Moxie hoped it was the latter. The orb was talking again.
"Hey, Moxie, I only get 5 minutes on this soap, we're wasting time!" Moxie paused.
"How do you know my name?"
"Because Sean Preston told me. Seaaaaan...Moxie's here!" Sean was in a weird little Indian baby...(descriptive word, descriptive word...) thing (AAAAAAAAGH) babbling happily. (I will now not use the space bar for a whole sentence).
"Himommyouarelookingbeautifulthismorningyessirmommyhowzitgoinohmynatalielookssleepy." Moxie smiled wearily.
"Hello, SP. How are you?"
"Justfantasmicmommy." The orb grew brighter.
"He likes you." Sean laughed.
"Duhshe'smymommy." Moxie coughed.
"Um, Sean? Could you use punctuation and the space bar?" (THANK YOU!)
"Oh, sure mommy." The orb was getting impatient.
"Okay, here's the deal: SP is a prince and he's going to defeat your evil twin sister, but you have to keep him alive and take him to the sorceror Dumbledore. My time's up." She winked and disappeared. Moxie picked up Sean.
"Wow...that was weird." Sean was waving his arms wildly.
"Where's Daddy?" Moxie had forgotten about Victor. Suddenly, the orb appeared again.
"Actually, I didn't tell you EVERYTHING in my 5 minutes of fame: The brownies will be your guides." Moxie waited, but that was it.
"That's it?"
"That's it." She looked at the Frenchies. They sneered back.
"Um, I don't think I want them as my guides." Natalie woke up at that moment and screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! RATS!" The brownies grew very offended at this remark. The orb sighed.
"All right, we have one more method of transportation. His name is Spirit, Stallion of the Cinnabon." Natalie smiled.
"Yum, cinnabon...." She fell back asleep. Moxie shook her awake while holding Sean and talking to the Maria Holvoe orb.
"Where do we find him?" Maria sighed.
"Um, duh, at the mall!" Natalie groaned in her sleep.
"NO, not the mall again!" Moxie shook her harder. Natalie woke up and gripped her shoulder.
"Sheez, cruel much." Sean Preston's face filled with rage.
"Shut up, don't talk to my mommy like that." Moxie rolled her eyes.
"Shut up, Sean." She looked up to speak to the Maria orb again, but she was gone. Moxie sighed. "I don't want to have to walk all the way to the stupid mall. We don't even know where we are!"
"Vell, I do!" Both girls (and the baby) turned around. There stood a magnificent buckskin stallion (a Kiger mustang, to be precise: short, but fast AND PRETTY MUCH FLOOPIN AWESOME!), on top of which rode... Victor smiled cockily.
"Check out my new ride." The stallion snorted. "Oh, sorry, Spirit. This is Spirit, Lord of all Equine." Natalie blinked.
"I thought Shadowfax was the Lord of all Equine." Spirit spoke for the first time.
"Please...Shadowfax got nothing on me. See, I can whinny!" He whinnied. "I can count!" He pawed the ground four times. "And, look, girls. This is called trotting!" Victor struggled to hold on. Spirit stopped.
"What are you doing? Let go of my hair! A good rider holds on with his knees!" Victor took a shaky breath.
"Sure. Vell, vhat are you vaiting for? Get on!" Spirit looked at the two girls (and the baby) and shook his head.
"Uh, sorry, but the truck stops here. I cannot carry all of you!" Victor crossed his arms. Moxie stamped her foot.
"Why not!? I don't wanna walk."
"You must. Or ve vill leave and find Shadowfax." Spirit smiled.
"I've got an idea."

* * * *

A few minutes later, everyone was riding on Victor's back. (JUST KIDDING. I wish.) That didn't work out so well, so Moxie, Natalie, and Sean Preston rode the Stallion of the Cinnabon while Victor walked.

Even though Spirit claimed to be faster than Shadowfax, he was actually quite slow. Especially carrying two people (AND A BABY!). So the trip to the mall took hours. When they finally got there, Spirit fell to the ground, foaming at the mouth.

"LEAVE ME! LEAVE ME SO I CAN DIE!" Sean Preston looked worried.

"He's not really going to die, is he Daddy?" Victor closed his eyes as if in pain.

"Stop...calling...me...Daddy."

"Sure thing, Pops." Victor winced, but ignored it. Natalie pointed wearily.

"There's the Cinnabon!" Spirit grinned.

"I'm finally home! Let's get something to eat." Suddenly, Natalie's cellphone rang.

"Oh. Sorry guys, you go ahead. I've gotta take this." While everyone went to go feast on sugary icing covered deliciousness, Natalie retreated behind the building. "Hello?"

"Hey, Natalie. It's your stalker. I mean, secret admirer. The one you met in that chatroom?" Natalie nodded knowingly.

"Oh yeah. The one that sounds hot speaking French, right?"

"Yep, that's the one." Natalie sighed dreamily.

"Wow...okay, no offense, but I thought you were my ex-boyfriend, but I forgot that he's...um, dead." Her heart sank as she realized Tyler, too, was dead. (NO DUH!!!!! That's kind of why I REPLACED him!) She soon forgot that, though. (Jerk. THen again, they're always telling you to move on?) "So, do I finally get to meet you?" Chad Micheal Murray (OOPS, I MEAN THE SECRET ADMIRER!) smiled on the other end.

"Yeah, there's a Halloween dance at this club and I thought I'd go." How it had suddenly become Halloween, no one on the set knew. Natalie nodded eagerly, even tho he couldn't see.

"Yeah, that would be great!"

"Cool, I'll meet you in the middle of the dance floor at 11:00." He hung up quite abruptly. Natalie shrugged.

"Whatever, at least the costume department gets to make me a dress..." She had been walking while thinking this and accidentally ran into someone. "Oh, sorry." Chad Micheal Murray waved her off.

"Sure, it's fine." Natalie noticed he was eating a cinnamon roll...FROM THE CINNABON. Oh, and french bread.

"NYAAAAARGH!" She grabbed the french bread and ran away. Chad watched her go.

"Hey...I'm on One Tree Hill!" He did a dramatic little One Tree Hill pose and walked away.

(Yeah. Tomorrow: Natalie's dress, and stuff..*snore* DARNIT! I had a really cute dress, but now I can't find one, waah...)

Check it out

Hey, how's it going, I was trying to find a picture of Sean Preston and all of the guest stars for tomorrow (there's gonna be a lot...like...three!), but I only got on of CMC, and my cpu wouldn't let me copy a picture of Spirit, Stallion of the Cinnabon. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! So yeah, you can stare at Chad all you want. See ya tomorrow.