Part 30: I am currently dating my ex-boyfriend's clone.

(Author’s note: There is a reason I haven’t posted in a week. And that reason is because I got an extremely addicting computer game and I like it more than I like all of you. Readers: Awwww… Yeah right. Well, I’m taking a break. The game made me mad. Must kill it. SOOOOO, last week. BTW, I can’t find a picture of Anthony Phelan, not matter what anyone says. ANYWAYS, LAST WEEK, Natalie found out that her secret admirer dude was really Pierre Bouvier and he attempted to blow her up, ALMOST succeeding, but then a Tyler clone saves her at the last minute. That’s right, a Tyler clone. Hahaha, sometimes I’m so original I slay myself. George Lucas: *shifting uncomfortably* Sucker… And Victor, Major Pepperidge, and Sean are off on a very “National Treasure” like mission to save Pamela Anderson. Not like either Pepperidge or Sean have a choice, seeing as Pepperidge is connected to Victor’s shoulder and Sean can’t even walk. Also, I bet I left you in total suspense *COUGH COUGH COUGH* when I didn’t mention Moxie, the twins, and the Victor clone AT ALL last week. Or whether Puss in Converse survived the explosion. I’m actually going to stall for a few more minutes before I start writing… Hm, hm, I got the cookie, I got the cookie. Finally figured out, yeah yeah, that all our dreams *uh* have no limitations, that’s what it’s all about. *skip ahead* MAKE EACH OTHER STRONG! I love High School Musical, don’t you? Yeah, enough stalling. Okay. Today: Natalie discovers the more about the Tyler army and it’s very “Attack of the Clones”-ish, only minus Hayden Christiansen. HALLELUJAH! Yeah, that’s right, George, Mr. SUCKY DIRECTOR!!! George: *shifting angrily* Jerk. And other stuff…)

Stolen Movie Plot: “Attack of the Clones”, “The Village” (stabbing scene), maybe Moxie will get thrown into another dog crate and put into a Hostess truck, where she’ll escape to the park…YET AGAIN. Then wouldn’t that be stealing the plot of this soap? Eh? Eh? Eh?

Special Guest Stars: Anthony Phelan (AKA LAMA SU!)

Ashes glared angrily at the rubble that surrounded her. This club, HER CLUB, had been destroyed by that double-crossing Canadian (hey, it’s almost as bad as varmint…KIDDING!). Everyone was being disgustingly sympathetic, handing her casseroles and telling her to call them…then again, most of them were male… She clenched her fists, wishing Pierre were right there so she could strangle him. She never should have trusted him when he pretended to be an underage drinker so long ago. In a way, this was almost her fault…but that didn’t soothe her any. Not only that, her prisoners had escaped shortly after she had arrived at the scene of the crime. Ashes screamed in irritation.
“I’M THE WORST EVIL GENIUS EVER!” That’s because, a voice in the back of her head said, Pierre is the best. Garbanzo appeared at her side.
“Oh dear…rotten luck, about your club, anyway. That’s too bad.” (This is where it gets a little like that one episode of “Teen Titans”, kind of…like that one with Cyborg and his super car) Ashes turned on him, smoke blowing from her nostrils. Garbanzo stepped back.
“Rotten luck? It wasn’t just a club! That was my BABY! I poured my HEART and SOUL into that place.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You know, with an insensitive comment like that, I just might not marry you.” Garbanzo looked hopeful. Suddenly, Ashes’ cellphone rang. (I’ve noticed when I don’t know what to do, I just enter in a cellphone ring) She answered it.
“WHAT?” Suddenly, her eyes got very, very big. Garbanzo rolled his eyes.
“What now?” Ashes looked past him, pointing with a shaky finger. Garbanzo turned around…and his eyes got very wide as well. Both were too shocked to speak. Pamela Anderson smiled at them.
“Hey. Want an autograph?”

* * * *

Natalie hid under the covers, hoping and praying this was all a nightmare. But it wasn’t. Someone (probably one of the clones) tapped her on the shoulder.
“Um, Natalie? The prime minister wants to talk to you.” Natalie came out only to see what they were talking about. Anthony Phelan (since no one knows who he is, he was the guy who played Lama Su in Attack of the Clones) was standing amidst the Tyler army, dressed in everyday alien garb.
“Ah, Natalie, you’re awake. Good. Let’s talk. Commander Cody, you may leave.” One of the Tylers saluted him and motioned to all the others. Then they left. Anthony sat on the edge of the bed.
“Well, then, Natalie, would you like to see the rest of our facility?” Natalie scooted farther away from him.
“Facility? What the crap is going on? And how do you know my name?” Anthony shook his head as if to say, “Kids these days”.
“Our generous benefactor told it to us before he left. He told us you would be expecting him.” Natalie cocked an eyebrow.
“He did? Wait…is this Pierre we’re talking about? You know, about ye tall, spiky hair, really evil, can’t sing.” The Simple Plan fans found this very offensive and booed. Anthony’s brow furrowed.
“No…actually, his name was Tyler. And he had a very beautiful singing voice.” Natalie perked up.
“You’d better explain.”

* * * *

Spirit nosed around in the rubble, trying to find his fuzzy orange friend.
“Dude, where are you? WHERE ARE YOU? HEY! HAS ANYONE SEEN A FUZZY ORANGE KITTY? ABOUT YE TALL AND…” A fuzzy orange paw burst through the rubble, grasping for the surface. Spirit whinnied elatedly.
“PUSS! Oh my gosh, you’re ALIVE!” He nosed some pieces of wall aside. Puss’ head appeared, gasping for air.
“Oh my…that was no fun.” He pulled himself out of the ground and looked around. “Where is Natalie?” Spirit cleared his throat.
“Uh, dude? She’s kind of gone. The building exploded and…” Puss’ green eyes filled with tears.
“NoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!” Chad suddenly appeared, looking flushed.
“Guys! Natalie’s alive! I witnessed her escape just before the building exploded.” Both horse and cat glared at him.
“And where were YOU when it exploded?” Chad looked around guiltily.
“Well, um, yeah…about that!” Puss pulled out his sword and pointed it at the pretty boy.
“You JERK! Who paid you? Who paid you off?” Chad wouldn’t meet Puss’ eyes. “Tell me, Chad, or hurt you, I will…” Spirit seemed to be thinking hard.
“You know, Puss, it’s really not that hard to figure out. It could only be one of two people. It was either Ashes or Pierre.”
“Or me.” A certain bohemian chick was running towards them a crazed look on her face. Puss extended his paw.
“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Puss in Converse…” He never finished that sentence. Mary-Kate extracted the knife from his stomach. His friends watched in horror as the orange kittycat slumped to the ground and lay still. Mary-Kate shook her finger disapprovingly.
“Bad boy, bad boy, watcha gonna do…” She stopped her horrendously average singing and turned to Chad and Spirit. “Who’s next?”

(I KNOW, I KNOW, I DIDN’T REALLY EXPLAIN THE TYLERS, BUT I WILL NEXT EPPY!)